Are you tired of being single and wondering why you can’t seem to get a girlfriend?
It can be a frustrating and even painful experience, especially if it feels like everyone around you is in a relationship. But the truth is, there could be several reasons why you’re having trouble finding a girlfriend, and it’s essential to understand that it’s not always something you’re doing wrong.
In this article, we’ll delve into possible reasons why you may have difficulty finding a girlfriend and what you can do to improve your chances. It’s time to face the ugly truth and take control of your love life.
Why Can’t You Get A Girlfriend
There are many possible reasons why someone might be having trouble finding a girlfriend. Here are the four most deadly dating mistakes many guys make, and you should steer clear of them.
Mistake No.1: Turn The Conversation Into An Interrogation
Many guys do not know what to say to the girl they like. So, to break the silence, they keep asking questions non-stop.
They bombard girls with boring questions:
- How’s your day?
- What are you doing?
- Have you had your dinner already?
- Are you done with your work today?
- Where are you?
When you keep asking the question, there will be no value exchange. The girl gets nothing out of the conversation. She receives no exciting stories or jokes from you. Yet, she has to keep telling you everything about herself and entertain you all the time.
Please step into her shoes and feel her pain, and you will understand why asking questions only in a conversation is super annoying. Not only asking too many questions will turn a conversation into an interrogation, but it also indirectly makes you look like a needy person. And, to most girls, a needy person is unattractive.
Mistake No.2: Being Too Polite Or Formal
A lot of guys or nerds make these mistakes. They want to be polite, and they want the girl to feel respected, so they talk very formally.
However, do you know that a formal way of speaking can make people feel distanced?
When you talk to a girl, you should always speak casually. Don’t be afraid of how she will judge you or how you will offend her with your words.
Just be relaxed and playful, and talk to her like how you speak to your existing friends.
Mistake No.3: Confess Too Early
Again, this is also one of the most common mistakes that guys make.
They tend to make love confessions too early in the relationship when it is not the right stage.
And that ruins everything.
Why do they confess so early:
- They feel struggle to keep their feelings within themselves.
- They lack patience and want to know if the girl has the same feeling for them.
They think that once they make the love confession, the girl will be touched and will like them back automatically. But that is a very wrong mindset.
If the girl is not interested in you yet, making a love confession will not make her like you back suddenly. First, she will be shocked, and second, she will quickly reject you to escape the awkward situation.
I’m not saying you should not make a love confession, but you must do it at the right stage. Making the wrong move at the wrong stage will only make you look like a low-EQ person.
You need to learn the different stages of a relationship and advance the stages until it is appropriate to make the love confession.
Resource: 5 Powerful Mindset For Dating Success
Mistake No.4: Provide Value In The Wrong Way
This could be the no.1 reason you can’t get a girlfriend. It’s because how you express love does not match how the girl perceives love.
You might think you are providing value to her, but you might be annoying her.
This is what a lot of guys do:
- They keep giving her gifts.
- They greet her every day.
- They always compliment her and agree with her on everything.
- They always are there for her whenever she needs something.
They think that the girl will feel touched and like them back after they do all these things. But the ugly truth is that this is not how the girls interpret things.
If the girl is not interested in you yet, and you keep giving her gifts, it only shows that you lack the confidence to attract her with your personality. That is why you need to depend on materialistic gifts.
If the girl is not into you yet, and you greet her every day, she will think you are a very needy person who does not have your own life or have no other options.
If you compliment her too much and agree with her on everything, it makes you look fake and makes her think that you are just a follower who does not have your own independent thought. She needs a leader.
If you always be there for her whenever she needs something, sorry to say, you are just a tool for her to get things done. Please accept that touching someone by doing things for them is tough.
Will you fall in love with someone because she helps you to buy a cigarette? No, you won’t. And it is the same for her. She won’t fall in love with you just because you help her to change the light bulb.
In addition, if a girl knows she can have everything she wants, e.g., your attention, time, approval, and gifts, just by being a friend, then what is the point of her becoming your girlfriend? She has it all already.
Guys, if she is not interested in you yet, and you do all these for her, it will complicate things. This is because you will make yourself more unattractive and needy and throw away the positioning.
She becomes the prize (high position), and you must work hard to chase after her (low position). This makes the relationship becomes unbalanced. And, no one will be attracted by someone who is lower than them.
So, to break this cycle, you need to build up your personal attraction. It would help if you learned how to make yourself more charismatic. Then, you can attract her and have her invest in you instead.
Why Can’t You Get A Girlfriend: Lack Of Dating Skills
Skill No.1: Conversation Skill
Not only do you need to know how to open up a conversation, but also you need to know how to keep the conversation interesting.
Who would want to listen to you if you only tell boring stories about your work? If you only throw standard and boring questions she gets every day, how would you stand out from your competitors?
It would be best if you equipped yourself with some exciting stories or jokes to entertain her while having a conversation. This way, she will love and want to talk to you more.
In addition, it will make it easier for you to ask her out because it is fun to be with you.
Resources:
- How To Have Interesting Conversations With A Girl
- How To Keep A Conversation Going
- Best Conversation Topics On A Date
- How To Start A Conversation With A Girl
Skill No.2: Flirting Skill
Many guys get friend-zoned because they do not know how to advance their intimacy level.
If you want to jump out of the friend zone, you must know how to create sexual tension. Otherwise, she will only consider you a friend with whom she enjoys chatting.
Flirting allows you to spark her imagination and excite her brain. It also allows you to invade her personal space, break through the touch barrier and have intimate physical touches.
In a nutshell, flirting can help you level up the intimacy level and make both of you more than just a friend.
Flirting is not as hard as you think, but you must know that there are different stages. And, in various stages, you have different objectives and things you need to do. For example, you should start by flirting with words, followed by flirting with body language, and then flirting for a sexual relationship.
Resources:
Skill No.3: Plan & Prepare For A Date
Many guys ruin the dating experience because they do not know how to correctly plan, prepare, and execute the date.
Most of them simply ask for a date and then appear on the date without any preparation.
To have a perfect date, you should know the standard dating flow. For example, you should know what to do when you see her, when you arrive at the restaurant, and when the date is about to end.
And during the date, you also need to know how to keep the atmosphere exciting and romantic so that she would love to come out with you again.
Also, you need to know what you should do after the date and think about how you end it more romantically. Should you walk her home and try to hold her hand? Should you create a private space in a car and chat with her before she goes? Is there a bridge nearby, and you can try to kiss her there before you send her home?
You should prepare for the date as much as possible because it will give you more confidence.
However, it would help if you were not too rigid. If the date does not go as planned, relax and go with the flow. At least you still have the big picture in your mind and know what to do next.
Resources:
- How To Prepare For A Date
- How To Ask A Girl Out
- How To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend
- Top 5 Best Places To Go For A Date
- Fun Places To Go On A Date
Can’t Get A Girlfriend Due To Small Social Circle?
You must know enough people to find the type of girl you like.
There are only two ways to broaden your social circle: Online & offline.
The online method is more efficient for meeting new people, in my opinion.
There are plenty of dating platforms and apps nowadays that you can use to know more girls. The girls on these platforms are ready to make friends, making it easier for you to approach them.
However, you still need to ask her for a date to get to know her better. After all, the online and offline worlds can be very different.
The offline method is slower and more costly to meet new people, but they are beneficial. This is because you can get real-time feedback to judge if you like or do not like them.
Some practical offline methods to know more people are to join a community, meetup groups, and offline events in your place.
If you are shy, you can always start with the online methods and level up your conversation skill before meeting them offline.
The Bottom Line
Instead of thinking about how you can chase after a girl all the time, you should invest your time and effort to build up your personal attraction first. Make yourself a higher-value person, and you will be able to attract a high-value girl in no time.