7 Things To Do When Your Wife Hits You

When Your Wife Hits You

Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects both men and women, and it is crucial to address it with empathy and understanding. 

While most discussions focus on women as victims, it is essential to recognize that men can also experience abuse in their relationships. 

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation where your wife hits you, it’s crucial to approach the matter with care, ensuring your safety and well-being while seeking a solution that respects the dignity and rights of both partners. 

This article aims to provide guidance on the steps you can take when faced with domestic violence as a man.

7 Things To Do When Your Wife Hits You

Experiencing domestic violence as a man can be an overwhelming and challenging ordeal. Remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but an essential step towards protecting your well-being and potentially mending the relationship.

1. Prioritize Safety

When faced with domestic violence, the first and most critical step is to prioritize your safety. Regardless of gender, anyone experiencing violence in a relationship should take immediate action to protect themselves. If your wife becomes physically violent towards you, it’s essential to remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible. This may involve leaving the immediate area where the violence is occurring and finding a safe space away from harm.

Removing yourself from the situation serves multiple purposes. Firstly, it helps prevent further harm or escalation of the confrontation. Violence can quickly spiral out of control, leading to more severe injuries or damages. Secondly, stepping away from the situation allows you to cool down and gain some distance from the emotional intensity of the moment.

If you find it difficult to leave the scene or you fear for your safety, do not hesitate to call the appropriate authorities for help. Reach out to the police or emergency services in your area. These professionals are trained to handle such situations and can intervene to ensure your safety and protect you from harm.

2. Seek Support

Experiencing domestic violence can be an emotionally distressing and challenging ordeal. It’s important to recognize that seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards healing and finding solutions. Suppressing emotions and feelings of isolation can be detrimental to your mental well-being.

Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who can provide you with a listening ear and understanding. Talking about your experiences openly can be therapeutic and can help you process your emotions. Trusted individuals can offer comfort, empathy, and valuable perspectives on your situation, which can provide clarity during this difficult time.

Support groups specifically tailored to individuals who have experienced domestic violence can be incredibly beneficial. In these groups, you can connect with others who have gone through similar situations, share experiences, and learn coping strategies from those who have successfully overcome similar challenges.

Remember that domestic violence is a serious issue, and you do not have to face it alone. Seeking support from others who care about your well-being can help you begin the healing process and empower you to take the necessary steps to address the situation in a healthy and constructive manner.

3. Document Incidents

Keeping a detailed record of abusive incidents is crucial when dealing with domestic violence. These records can serve as valuable evidence if you decide to take legal action or seek counseling to address the issue. It is essential to document each incident as accurately as possible. Include the date, time, and specific details of what occurred during the abusive event. Describe any visible injuries or damages resulting from the violence.

Documenting incidents can be instrumental in several ways:

  • Legal Action: If the abuse continues or escalates, you may choose to pursue legal action to protect yourself. Having a well-documented record of the abuse can be critical in court proceedings, helping you demonstrate the frequency and severity of the violence.
  • Obtaining Protective Measures: In many jurisdictions, individuals experiencing domestic violence can seek protective measures like restraining orders. Having a documented history of abusive incidents can support your case and strengthen your request for such protective measures.
  • Counseling and Therapy: If you decide to seek counseling or therapy to address the issue, having a record of the abusive behavior can provide valuable context for the counselor or therapist. It can help them better understand the dynamics of the relationship and tailor their approach to assist you effectively.

Remember to keep your documentation in a safe and secure place that your partner cannot access. If you’re concerned about your privacy, consider using a password-protected digital document or keeping a physical copy in a secure location outside your home.

4. Encourage Open Communication

While communication is essential in any relationship, it can be particularly challenging in situations involving domestic violence. However, if you feel safe and believe that your wife is open to having a constructive conversation, attempting open communication can be a positive step forward.

Here are some key aspects to consider when engaging in open communication:

  • Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a neutral and safe environment where you both feel comfortable and can talk without distractions or interruptions.
  • Remain Calm: Keep your emotions in check during the conversation. Reacting with anger or aggression may escalate the situation, so try to stay composed and focused.
  • Express Your Feelings and Concerns: Be honest about how the violence has affected you emotionally and physically. Explain your concerns and emphasize the importance of a healthy and non-violent relationship.
  • Listen Actively: Encourage your wife to share her feelings and perspective without interrupting or judging. Active listening shows that you value her thoughts, which can foster a more productive conversation.
  • Seek Professional Mediation: If you fear that the conversation could become volatile or unproductive, consider involving a trained mediator or counselor. A professional can facilitate communication and provide a safe space for both parties to express themselves.

It’s essential to prioritize your safety and well-being throughout this process. If at any point you feel that open communication is not safe or productive, consider seeking professional help or involving a support network to guide you through addressing the domestic violence.

5. Seek Professional Help

Addressing domestic violence in a relationship requires professional intervention. Individual and couples counseling can play a vital role in helping both partners understand and work through the underlying issues contributing to the violence.

  • Individual Counseling: Seeking therapy individually can offer a safe space for you to explore your emotions, trauma, and reactions to the abusive behavior. A trained therapist can assist you in processing your experiences, building resilience, and developing coping strategies to navigate the challenges you face.
  • Couples Counseling: If your wife is willing to participate, couples counseling can be a powerful tool to address the dynamics within the relationship and work towards positive change. A skilled therapist can facilitate open communication, promote empathy and understanding between partners, and guide the couple in developing healthier communication and conflict resolution skills.

The goal of counseling is not to excuse or justify violent behavior but to create an environment conducive to personal growth and healing for both partners. Remember, participation in counseling must prioritize safety. If there is a risk of further harm during joint sessions, individual counseling for both partners may be a safer starting point.

6. Know Your Legal Rights

Understanding your legal rights is crucial when dealing with domestic violence. As a victim of abuse, regardless of gender, you have the right to seek protection and justice under the law. Familiarize yourself with the laws and resources available in your jurisdiction to support victims of domestic violence.

  • Restraining Orders: In many jurisdictions, victims of domestic violence can obtain restraining orders that legally prevent the abuser from coming near or contacting them. If you feel unsafe in your home or personal space, consider applying for a restraining order to protect yourself.
  • Support Services: Many areas have support services specifically designed for victims of domestic violence. These services may include shelters, hotlines, counseling programs, legal assistance, and other resources to help you navigate through challenging situations.
  • Legal Assistance: If you are considering taking legal action, consult with an attorney experienced in family law or domestic violence cases. A knowledgeable lawyer can guide you through the legal process and help you understand your options.

7. Consider a Temporary Separation

In some cases, a temporary separation can provide breathing room for both partners to reflect on their actions and emotions. During this time apart, each person can focus on personal growth, seek counseling, and reassess the relationship’s dynamics objectively.

A temporary separation may be beneficial if both partners are committed to change and safety can be ensured during the separation period. The time apart allows for introspection and self-improvement, which can lead to a healthier and more constructive relationship in the future.

However, it’s essential to approach a temporary separation with caution. If the situation involves significant safety risks or the potential for further harm, it may not be a suitable option. Consult with a professional counselor or therapist before deciding on a separation to ensure that it is a safe and appropriate step for your specific circumstances.

What should I do if I feel unsafe discussing the issue of domestic violence with my partner directly?

If you fear that discussing domestic violence with your partner may escalate the situation or put you at risk, consider seeking the help of a mediator or a professional counselor. They can facilitate communication in a safe environment and ensure both parties’ emotional well-being.

How can documenting incidents of abuse help in addressing domestic violence?

Keeping a record of abusive incidents, including dates, times, and specific details, can provide important evidence if you decide to take legal action or seek counseling. It can support your case for protective measures such as restraining orders and help therapists gain valuable insight into the dynamics of the relationship.

What legal rights do victims of domestic violence have?

Victims of domestic violence have the right to seek protection and justice under the law. In many jurisdictions, there are laws that protect both men and women from domestic violence. Victims may apply for restraining orders, access support services, and seek legal assistance to navigate the legal process.


Addressing domestic violence in relationships is a challenging journey that requires courage, empathy, and a commitment to positive change. Regardless of gender, everyone has the right to live free from violence and fear in their intimate partnerships.

As we navigate this complex issue, let us remember that prioritizing safety is paramount. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer a listening ear and guidance during difficult times. Documenting incidents can be crucial for seeking legal protection and counseling, fostering a path towards healing and growth.

Communication, when done safely and constructively, can bridge gaps and facilitate understanding. However, safety must always be at the forefront of any conversation about domestic violence.