The talking stage is an exciting and important time in any relationship. It’s a chance to get to know each other, build a connection, and figure out if there is potential for something more.
However, it is also a time when red flags can start to emerge. These red flags can be subtle or obvious, but they can all be indicators that the relationship may not be a healthy or positive one.
In this article, we will explore some of the common red flags that can arise in the talking stage and how to address them. If you’re in the talking stage and want to ensure that your relationship is on the right track, keep reading to learn more about the red flags to watch out for.
What is the talking stage in a relationship?
The talking stage is the period of a relationship when couples start to get to know each other on a deeper level. This is the time when they share their hopes, dreams, and fears with each other, and start to build a stronger connection.
This stage can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months and is an important part of a relationship. Couples who take the time to get to know each other during the talking stage are more likely to have a longer and more successful relationship.
17 Red Flags in the talking stage
In the early stages of dating, it’s important to be mindful of potential warning signs so you can make an informed decision about whether or not to pursue a relationship.
Here are 17 red flags to watch out for in the talking stage:
1) Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
It is important to have boundaries in any relationship to maintain a healthy level of respect and communication. If your partner regularly ignores or disrespects your boundaries, it is a sign that they do not respect you as an individual. This can be a major problem in a relationship as it can lead to feelings of devaluation and resentment.
If you find yourself in a situation where your boundaries are not being respected, it is important to communicate with your partner about it. If they are unwilling to listen to your concerns and respect your boundaries, it may be necessary to end the relationship.
2) Not being on the same page on exclusivity
Where you stand on exclusivity is completely personal. But if you’re with someone who isn’t on the same page as you, it can create problems down the road.
If you want to be exclusive and your partner isn’t ready for that, it can lead to jealousy, insecurity, and even resentment.
Thus, it is important to have a conversation about exclusivity as soon as it is appropriate. Not being on the same page about this is a huge red flag.
3) Speak a different love language
Love languages are the way we express and receive love. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
If you’re speaking different love languages, it can create misunderstandings and frustration.
For example, if your partner’s love language is physical touch and yours is quality time, they may feel neglected if you don’t spend as much time with them as they’d like. Or, if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts and yours is acts of service, they may feel unappreciated if you don’t do things for them often enough.
4) Feel like you’re always being interrogated.
It’s one thing to ask questions about each other’s interests, but if your date is constantly firing off questions without giving you a chance to respond, it can feel like an interrogation. This can be a sign that they’re not interested in getting to know you and are just trying to find out as much information as possible.
If you’re feeling like you’re being interrogated, try turning the tables and asking your date some questions. If they seem uncomfortable or refuse to answer, it could be a sign that they’re not looking for a real relationship.
5) Never seems to be interested in anything you have to say.
When you are in the early stages of getting to know someone, it can be frustrating when they don’t seem interested in anything you have to say. This can be a red flag that the person is not really interested in you and is just trying to pass the time.
Of course, there are always exceptions and some people may just need a little more time to warm up. If you’ve been chatting for a while and they suddenly start paying more attention, then they may just have been waiting for the right moment. But if someone consistently seems uninterested, it’s probably best to move on.
6) Never wants to talk about the future or make any plans.
When you’re in the talking stage with someone, it can be a red flag if they never want to talk about the future or make any plans. This could be a sign that they’re not looking for anything serious, or that they’re not ready to commit to anything. If you’re looking for something long-term, it’s important to make sure that you’re on the same page with your partner. Otherwise, you could end up getting hurt down the line if you are looking for something serious.
7) You always feel like you’re the one doing all the work in the relationship.
If you find yourself always being the one to initiate plans, putting in all the effort to keep things going, and generally being the one who does more work than your partner, it’s time to talk.
It’s possible that your partner simply doesn’t realize how much work you’re putting in, and a conversation can help clear things up. However, if they’re unwilling to meet you halfway or make an effort to contribute more, it may be time to move on.
8) Emotional immature
An emotionally immature person is typically someone unable to handle their emotions healthily. This can manifest in several ways, such as being overly reactive to things, being unable to have productive conversations about difficult topics, or lashing out when feeling upset.
Someone emotionally immature may have trouble in relationships because they are not able to effectively communicate what they are feeling or deal with conflict in a healthy way. This can lead to arguments, resentment, and ultimately, the end of the relationship.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone emotionally immature, it is important to try to help them learn how to better deal with their emotions. This may mean having some difficult conversations or even seeking outside help, such as therapy. But it is important to remember that you cannot change someone else – only they can do that.
9) Don’t have many deeper and more meaningful conversations
When you’re getting to know someone, it’s normal to stick to small talk. But if you find that you and your partner don’t ever seem to move beyond the superficial, it could be a sign that your relationship is lacking in depth.
Without deeper conversations, you and your partner may never get to know each other on a meaningful level. You may never learn about each other’s hopes, dreams, fears, or motivations. Without this knowledge, it can be difficult to build a strong and lasting connection.
If you’re in the talking stage with someone and things just seem to be stuck on the surface, take some time to ask them some questions that will help you get to know them better. Otherwise, this relationship is probably not going to be sustainable.
10) Constantly arguing over small things
In any relationship, it’s important to be able to communicate effectively and argue constructively when disagreements arise. However, if you find yourselves constantly arguing over small things, it could be a sign that there are deeper underlying issues at play.
When small arguments become a regular occurrence, they can start to take a toll on the relationship and can leave both partners feeling frustrated and misunderstood. If you’re not able to have productive conversations about your differences, it can be a sign that you’re not compatible in the long run.
If you’re constantly arguing with your partner, it’s important to take a step back and try to identify the root of the problem. If you can’t compromise with the root of the problem, then you might want to consider someone more compatible for a long-term relationship.
11) Can’t be your true self
When you’re in the talking stage with someone, it’s normal to want to put your best foot forward. But if you find yourself always trying to change the way you look, act, or speak around them, it could be a red flag.
It’s one thing to dress up for a date or make an effort to engage in the things your partner enjoys. But if you’re constantly changing who you are to please them or fit their idea of who they want to be with, it’s not healthy. You should be able to be yourself around your partner and feel comfortable doing so.
If you find that you’re always making changes in an attempt to get your partner to like you more, it might be time to reassess the relationship.
12) Physical or emotional abuse
If you notice that your partner is exhibiting any signs of physical, emotional, or mental abuse, it is important to take these seriously as they may escalate over time.
Physical abuse can involve anything from hitting and slapping to choking and strangling. If your partner ever physically hurts you or makes you feel scared for your safety, this is a major red flag that the relationship is not healthy.
Emotional abuse can manifest in many ways, such as put-downs, controlling behavior, Gaslighting, and manipulation. If your partner regularly makes you feel bad about yourself or tries to control what you do, these are warning signs that the relationship is abusive and you should not tolerate it.
13) Having very different values
When you and your partner have different values, it can be a red flag in the talking stage. This is because values are an important part of who we are and how we live our lives. If you have different values, it can be difficult to find common ground and understand each other. It’s important to be honest about your values early on in a relationship so that you can decide if they are compatible.
14) Anger management issues
When you’re in the early stages of a relationship, it’s normal to have some disagreements. But if your partner gets angry quickly and has trouble controlling their temper, it could be a sign of bigger problems.
If your partner regularly yells at you or other people, breaks things when they’re angry, or threatens violence, it’s time to seek help. These are all red flags that indicate your partner needs anger management help.
If your partner is willing to seek counseling and work on their anger issues, it can be a positive sign for the future of your relationship. However, if they refuse to get help or continue to exhibit troubling behavior, it may be best to end the relationship before you get hurt.
15) Manipulation and controlling behavior
Some people try to control their partners by making all the decisions, never letting them have a say in anything. They might try to isolate themselves from their friends and family or make them feel guilty for spending time with anyone other than them. If your partner is always telling you what to do and what not to do, it’s a sign that they are trying to control you.
Manipulation can also take more subtle forms. If your partner asks you to do something and then implies that they will be angry or unhappy if you don’t do it, they are manipulating you. If they say things like “Don’t you love me? ,” “Don’t you want me to be happy?,” or “You know I will be angry if you don’t do this for me,” they are trying to manipulate and control your feelings.
This is not always easy to spot, but it is important to be aware of it and pay attention to how the person you are dating treats you. If you feel like you have been manipulated, it is best to leave the relationship because you deserve someone better.
Narcissism is a personality disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for constant attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists are often perceived as arrogant, self-absorbed, and manipulative.
While narcissism can be a positive trait in some situations (such as in the case of successful businesspeople or politicians), it can also be a major red flag in personal relationships.
For example, narcissists may have difficulty sustaining healthy long-term relationships because they are unable to empathize with their partner’s needs and feelings. Additionally, narcissists may expect their partners to always agree with them and give them constant attention and validation. If these needs are not met, the narcissist may become angry or withdraw from the relationship altogether.
It can be a real struggle to be with someone who always prioritizes themselves first because you will feel a lack of attention and love down the road. It is hard to change one’s behavior, so it’s best to end the relationship and move on.
17) Jealousy issue
Jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions in any relationship. It can ruin trust, breed insecurity, and cause immense pain. If you’re in the talking stage with someone and they exhibit jealous behaviors, it’s a major red flag.
Jealousy is often born out of insecurity. If your partner is constantly worried about what you’re doing and who you’re with, it’s a sign that they don’t trust you. This lack of trust can quickly erode the foundations of your relationship.
If your partner’s jealousy is making you feel uncomfortable or like you have to “walk on eggshells,” it’s time to have a conversation about it. If they’re unwilling or unable to address the issue, it might be time to move on.
What should you do when there’s a red flag in the talking stage?
If you encounter a red flag in the talking stage, it is important to take it seriously and to consider whether it is something you are willing to work on and improve, or whether it is a deal breaker for you.
Here are some potential steps you can take when you encounter a red flag in the talking stage.
Communicate about it openly and honestly
Communicating openly and honestly with your partner about your concerns is an important step in addressing red flags in the talking stage. It is important to be clear and direct in expressing your feelings and to listen to your partner’s perspective as well.
By having open and honest communication, you can better understand each other’s needs and concerns, and work towards finding a resolution.
Reflect on your own values and expectations for the relationship
Taking time to reflect on your own values and expectations for the relationship can help you determine whether the red flag is something that is aligned with what you want in a partner.
It is important to be honest with yourself about what you need and wants in a relationship and to make decisions that align with your values.
Set clear and healthy boundaries
Setting boundaries and communicating your needs and expectations clearly can be an important step in addressing red flags in the talking stage.
If the red flag is something that you are not willing to tolerate, it is important to communicate this to your partner and to set boundaries to protect yourself.
End the relationship if it is a deal breaker for you
If the red flag is a deal breaker for you, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and to make decisions that are in your best interest.
If the red flag is something that you are not willing to work on, or if it is a fundamental mismatch in values, it may be best to end the relationship.
Seek professional guidance if needed
Seeking the guidance of a therapist or relationship coach can be helpful in navigating conflicts and addressing issues in a healthy and constructive way.
A trained professional can provide an objective perspective and can help you develop communication and problem-solving skills that can benefit your relationship.