13 Ways to Turn the Tables When He Pulls Away

Ways to Turn the Tables When He Pulls Away

One common scenario that many people experience is when their partner starts to pull away emotionally. It can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and worried about the future of the relationship. 

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to remember that all relationships require effort and understanding from both partners. By taking the initiative and employing some strategies, you can turn the tables and address the situation in a healthy and positive way. 

In this article, we’ll explore 13 ways to handle a partner who pulls away.

13 Ways to Turn the Tables When He Pulls Away

When your partner pulls away, it can be a difficult and emotionally charged experience. However, with the methods below, patience, and open communication, you can turn the tables and rebuild the emotional connection. 

1. Open Communication:

Open communication is the foundation of any healthy and successful relationship. When your partner starts to pull away emotionally, it’s crucial to address the issue openly and honestly. Initiate a conversation where you express your feelings and concerns about the emotional distance you’ve been sensing. Be transparent about your emotions and encourage your partner to do the same. By creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for communication, both of you can share your perspectives, which can lead to a better understanding of each other’s feelings and needs.

In this conversation, avoid blame or accusations, as they can lead to defensiveness and hinder progress. Instead, focus on using “I” statements to express how you feel and how their emotional distance is impacting you. Keep in mind that open communication is not about finding faults or placing blame but about seeking mutual understanding and finding solutions together.

2. Active Listening:

Active listening is a vital skill in any relationship, especially during times of emotional distance. When your partner shares their feelings and concerns, it’s essential to give them your full attention. Put aside distractions and make eye contact to show that you are fully engaged in the conversation. Avoid interrupting or trying to formulate your response while they are speaking.

Instead, allow your partner to express themselves fully without judgment or interruption. Nod your head or provide verbal cues to show that you are listening, such as saying “I understand” or “Tell me more.” By actively listening, you demonstrate that you value your partner’s thoughts and feelings, fostering an environment of trust and emotional connection.

3. Empathy:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person genuinely. When your partner is pulling away emotionally, it’s essential to show empathy towards their emotions and struggles. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see the situation from their perspective. Recognize that their emotions are valid, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Expressing empathy can be as simple as saying, “I can see that you’ve been feeling distant lately, and I want to understand what you’re going through.” By showing empathy, you create a safe space for your partner to open up and share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

4. Give Space:

When your partner pulls away emotionally, it can be tempting to try and close the gap immediately. However, it’s essential to give them the space they might need to process their feelings and thoughts. Pressuring them for immediate answers or demands to “fix” the situation can be counterproductive and may push them further away.

Respecting their need for space doesn’t mean ignoring the issue or withdrawing completely. It means giving them the time and room to sort through their emotions without feeling overwhelmed. Use this time constructively to focus on your personal growth, hobbies, and self-care. Let your partner know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to talk, but avoid pushing them before they are prepared to do so.

Giving space can lead to a more thoughtful and honest conversation when your partner is ready to engage, which can be the starting point for rebuilding emotional intimacy in your relationship.

5. Focus on your personal growth and engage in self-care to maintain well-being:

When your partner pulls away emotionally, it’s essential to take care of yourself both mentally and emotionally. Focusing on personal growth means investing time and energy in activities that nurture your well-being, boost self-esteem, and promote self-discovery. Engaging in hobbies, pursuing interests, or even seeking personal development through courses or therapy can help you maintain a sense of individuality and fulfillment.

By prioritizing self-care, you are better equipped to handle the challenges that come with emotional distance in the relationship. It also shows your partner that you value yourself and are committed to personal growth, which can be attractive and inspiring.

Taking care of your own needs doesn’t mean neglecting the relationship but rather strengthening it from a place of inner strength and contentment. When both partners are emotionally fulfilled individually, they can contribute more positively to the relationship as a whole.

6. Plan quality time together to strengthen the emotional connection:

Spending quality time together is crucial for nurturing the emotional bond in any relationship. Amidst the emotional distance, it becomes even more vital to create opportunities for meaningful interactions. Plan activities that you both enjoy and that allow for genuine connection.

Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean elaborate or expensive outings; it can be as simple as taking a walk together, preparing a meal, or engaging in a shared hobby. The key is to be fully present during these moments, putting aside distractions and devices to focus on each other.

During these special times, try to engage in meaningful conversations, sharing your thoughts and experiences with each other. Showing genuine interest and actively participating in these conversations can help rekindle the emotional intimacy that may have been temporarily lost.

7. Surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures to show your love and appreciation:

Small, thoughtful gestures can go a long way in reaffirming your love and appreciation for your partner. Surprises don’t have to be grand gestures; they can be simple acts of kindness that show you care.

For example, leave a heartfelt note for your partner, prepare their favorite meal, or do something thoughtful to make their day easier. These gestures demonstrate that you are attentive to their needs and value their happiness, even during challenging times.

Remember that surprises should be genuine and come from the heart. Avoid expecting anything in return or using surprises as a way to manipulate your partner’s emotions. True surprises are given freely and without any hidden agendas.

8. Avoid pressuring your partner to open up, but express your willingness to support them:

As much as you may want to resolve the emotional distance, pressuring your partner to open up before they are ready can be counterproductive. Pushing them to share their feelings prematurely might lead to more distance and reluctance to communicate.

Instead, express your willingness to support them whenever they feel comfortable discussing their emotions. Let them know that you are there to listen and understand without judgment. This reassurance can give your partner the space and time they need to process their feelings and eventually open up to you.

In the meantime, continue to be present and attentive without pushing for immediate answers. Showing your support and patience sends a powerful message that you value your partner’s emotions and are committed to working through challenges together. When your partner feels safe and supported, they are more likely to open up and share their feelings when the time is right.

9. Be patient as emotional reconnection may take time:

When your partner pulls away emotionally, it’s essential to remember that rebuilding emotional connection is a process that takes time and effort. Patience is key during this period, as rushing the process can add unnecessary pressure and strain to the relationship.

Emotional reconnection requires both partners to work through their feelings, communicate openly, and gradually rebuild trust and intimacy. It’s normal to experience ups and downs during this journey, but staying patient and committed can lead to a stronger and more resilient bond.

Give your partner the space they need to process their emotions and avoid expecting immediate results. Remember that genuine emotional reconnection cannot be forced; it requires a willingness to work through challenges together and a shared commitment to rebuilding the relationship.

10. Address any trust issues constructively to rebuild trust in the relationship:

Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and if there are trust issues, they need to be addressed constructively. If emotional distance is a result of trust concerns, it’s crucial to have an honest and open conversation about these issues.

Both partners must be willing to listen to each other’s feelings and concerns without becoming defensive. Acknowledge any mistakes or actions that may have led to a breach of trust, and express genuine remorse if necessary.

Rebuilding trust involves consistent and honest communication, demonstrating reliability and accountability, and following through on commitments. It may also involve setting healthy boundaries and being transparent about actions and decisions.

Remember that rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. Trust is earned through consistent actions and behaviors that demonstrate honesty, reliability, and respect for each other’s feelings.

11. Reflect on positive memories and shared goals to reignite the spark:

During times of emotional distance, it can be helpful to revisit positive memories and shared goals that brought you together in the first place. Take some time to reminisce about happy moments, adventures, and achievements you experienced as a couple.

Reflecting on the love and joy you’ve shared can reignite the spark and remind you of the strong emotional connection you once had. It can also motivate both of you to work towards creating new positive experiences and achieving shared aspirations.

Consider engaging in activities that you both enjoyed in the past or revisit the places that hold special meaning to your relationship. Sharing these experiences can create new memories and deepen your emotional bond.

12. Respect your partner’s boundaries while showing commitment to the relationship:

Respecting your partner’s boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship. If your partner is pulling away, it may be a sign that they need space or time to process their emotions.

While it’s natural to want to resolve the distance and reconnect immediately, pushing your partner against their boundaries can be counterproductive. It can lead to feelings of suffocation and resentment.

Instead, show understanding and respect for their need for space while affirming your commitment to the relationship. Communicate your support and willingness to work through challenges together whenever they are ready.

Respecting boundaries also involves recognizing each other’s individuality and understanding that emotional closeness doesn’t mean sacrificing personal space or independence. Healthy relationships strike a balance between togetherness and individuality.

13. If needed, consider seeking couples counseling to navigate challenges together:

If the emotional distance persists or becomes increasingly difficult to manage on your own, couples counseling can be a valuable resource. A professional counselor can provide a safe and neutral space for both partners to express their feelings and concerns.

Couples counseling can help identify the root causes of the emotional distance and provide tools and strategies to rebuild emotional intimacy and strengthen the relationship. A skilled therapist can facilitate open communication and guide both partners in navigating challenges effectively.

Seeking counseling doesn’t indicate weakness; rather, it demonstrates a willingness to invest in the relationship and work towards positive change. Remember that counseling is a collaborative process, and both partners must be open to the experience for it to be effective.

How do you deal with your man when he pulls away?

Dealing with your man when he pulls away requires a combination of understanding, communication, and patience. Firstly, avoid jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst; instead, initiate an open and honest conversation about how you’ve been feeling and express your concerns. Give him the space he may need to process his emotions and avoid pressuring him to open up immediately. Focus on your personal growth and well-being during this time, engaging in self-care and pursuing your interests. Continue showing love and support while respecting his boundaries. Remember that emotional reconnection may take time, so be patient and allow the relationship to evolve naturally.

How do you turn the tables and make him chase you?

Turning the tables and making him chase you isn’t about playing games or manipulating his emotions. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself and maintaining a fulfilling life outside the relationship. This will naturally make you more attractive and intriguing to him. Continue to show interest in him and spend quality time together, but also give him space to pursue his own interests and activities. Be confident and independent, and let him see that you are a person of value. By fostering a strong sense of self-worth and showing genuine care and support, you can create an environment where he feels inspired to pursue and cherish you.

What do you text a guy when he pulls away?

When a guy pulls away, sending him understanding and supportive texts can be beneficial. Avoid sending accusatory or clingy messages, as they may push him further away. Instead, express that you’ve noticed he’s been distant and that you’re there for him if he wants to talk. Let him know that you value the relationship and are willing to give him the space he needs. Avoid bombarding him with texts or demanding answers; respect his need for time and offer your support without pressure.

How to make a guy miss you psychology?

Making a guy miss you involves creating positive memories and experiences together and then giving him space to process those emotions when you are apart. It’s essential to strike a balance between spending quality time together and having independent activities. When you’re apart, avoid constantly reaching out or being too available. Instead, let him have time to anticipate your next interaction. Share your life updates, achievements, and exciting experiences, but don’t overshare or flood him with information. By maintaining a sense of mystery and being confident in yourself, you can make him miss your presence and cherish the time you spend together.

Should I leave him alone when he pulls away?

Giving him space when he pulls away is generally a wise approach. People may need time to process their emotions and thoughts, and pressuring them for immediate answers can lead to further distancing. Allow him the opportunity to sort through his feelings and thoughts without feeling overwhelmed. Focus on your well-being and engage in activities that bring you joy. Let him know you’re there for him whenever he’s ready to talk, but refrain from being overly clingy or demanding.

How to get his attention without chasing him?

Getting his attention without chasing him involves being authentic and confident in yourself. Engage in activities that showcase your interests and passions, and share your accomplishments and experiences with him. Be a good listener and show genuine interest in his life and ambitions. Avoid being too available all the time and create a healthy balance between togetherness and independence. When you do spend time together, be fully present and enjoy each other’s company. By being a positive and intriguing presence in his life, you can naturally capture his attention without resorting to chasing him.


Giving your partner space to process their feelings is essential, as rushing the process can lead to further distance. Utilizing this time to focus on personal growth and self-care can strengthen your own sense of well-being and contribute positively to the relationship.

Respecting your partner’s boundaries while demonstrating commitment to the relationship is crucial for maintaining a healthy and balanced connection. Avoiding pressure and manipulation allows for organic emotional reconnection to occur.

In the end, fostering a strong and enduring emotional connection requires dedication, understanding, and effort from both partners. By applying these insights and strategies, you can navigate the complexities of emotional distance and lay the foundation for a more fulfilling and intimate relationship. 

Remember that every relationship experiences its ups and downs, and the journey of growth and rediscovery can lead to a deeper bond and a more profound connection with your partner.