15 ways to pull away to make him want you

ways to pull away to make him want you

If you’re looking to capture his attention and make him want you more, there are several simple and effective ways to do so. 

Sometimes, you can pull away a little bit to make him want you more. However, you should not overdo this to the extent of manipulating the relationship. 

By following these 15 straightforward tips below, you can create a strong bond and make him crave your presence.

15 ways to pull away to make him want you

your pulling away can evoke a range of emotions and reactions in them, ultimately creating a sense of longing and curiosity that prompts a desire to reconnect and strengthen the bond that connects you.

However, it’s vital to approach these situations with care, and not to overdo it as genuine open communication is still the foundation of a strong relationship. 

1. Reduced Communication:

When you start responding less often to their calls, texts, or messages, it can create a sense of longing for your attention. The decrease in communication disrupts their usual expectations and patterns. Waiting for your response can generate curiosity and anticipation. Your sporadic replies might lead them to wonder why you’re distant, making them think about you more frequently. This curiosity and desire to regain your attention could eventually drive them to want to reconnect and revive the closeness you once shared.

2. Cancelling Plans:

Frequently canceling plans or avoiding making them altogether can introduce an element of unpredictability. This unpredictability triggers uncertainty about your availability and motives. This uncertainty might compel them to seek reasons for your behavior, making them more intrigued about your actions. As they imagine scenarios of what you might be doing instead, their curiosity and interest in you could grow stronger.

3. Spending Time Apart:

As you begin spending more time away from them, a sense of missing your presence can develop. The absence created by your physical distance might make their heart grow fonder for you. The space allows them to reflect on the relationship and their feelings for you. The longing to reconnect and share experiences could intensify, prompting them to seek your attention and companionship more fervently.

4. Avoiding Intimacy:

Avoiding physical and emotional closeness creates a sense of mystery and fascination. They might find themselves pondering why you’re avoiding intimacy and what might be on your mind. This mystery could fuel a desire to break through your emotional barriers and connect with you on a deeper level. They might invest more effort into understanding your thoughts and feelings, leading to an increased interest in pursuing a stronger emotional connection.

5. Becoming Distracted:

When you appear distracted or preoccupied in their presence, a desire to regain your full attention can arise. The challenge of capturing your focus might ignite their competitive side. They might strive to stand out and engage you in a way that captivates your interest. This pursuit of your undivided attention could spark a desire to prove their value and significance in your life.

6. Emotional Detachment:

As you become emotionally distant and less engaged in their feelings and experiences, a desire to reconnect may emerge. Humans naturally seek emotional connection and empathy. The fading emotional bond might prompt them to want to understand your reasons for distancing yourself. This curiosity could lead them to make efforts to bridge the emotional gap and reignite your interest in their life.

7. Short Conversations:

Conversations that lack depth compared to your previous exchanges can lead to a yearning for those meaningful connections you once shared. The shallowness of current conversations might make them reminisce about the times when you engaged in more profound discussions. This longing for more substantial interaction could motivate them to put in extra effort to restore the depth of your conversations, thus making them want to engage with you more deeply.

8. Lack of Interest:

When you show decreased interest in their life, a need for validation may surface. Human beings often seek affirmation and attention from those they care about. The dwindling attention might compel them to take actions to regain your interest. They might share more about their interests and activities, hoping to capture your attention again. This effort to regain your interest could evolve into a desire to reconnect and have you genuinely engaged in their life.

9. Avoiding Serious Talks:

Avoiding discussions about the relationship’s future or important matters can create uncertainty and unmet expectations. Their desire to understand the relationship’s direction might prompt them to initiate these conversations. This initiative to address significant issues showcases their investment in the relationship and their commitment to seeking clarity. This commitment might inspire you to open up and engage in these discussions as well.

10. Reduced Affection:

As physical displays of affection decrease, a longing for intimacy can emerge. Physical touch and affectionate gestures play a crucial role in fostering emotional closeness. The absence of these gestures might make them yearn for that connection. They might find themselves initiating affectionate actions or seeking opportunities for physical closeness, aiming to rekindle the warmth and emotional bond that physical affection brings.

11. Ignoring Problems:

When you avoid addressing relationship problems, hoping they’ll resolve on their own, it can create uncertainty and unresolved tension. Unresolved issues can lead to emotional distance. They might find themselves yearning for open communication and resolution. This longing to restore harmony and understanding might push them to initiate conversations about these problems, showing their commitment to improving the relationship.

12. Lack of Support:

As your support for their goals diminishes, a desire for validation and encouragement might emerge. Humans often seek acknowledgment for their efforts and accomplishments. The decreased support might ignite their determination to prove themselves and gain your recognition. Striving to showcase their abilities and achievements could kindle a renewed interest in gaining your approval and support.

13. Less Sharing:

When you stop sharing personal thoughts and experiences, an emotional void may form. Human interactions thrive on shared experiences that deepen intimacy. The absence of these exchanges might make them miss those connections. They might initiate more conversations about their thoughts and experiences, hoping to reignite the personal bond and encourage you to open up as well.

14. Increased Alone Time:

Prioritizing more time alone can lead to a sense of missing your presence. Emotional well-being often hinges on human connections. Their increased alone time might lead them to value the moments spent together more deeply. They might begin cherishing those moments and working to make them more meaningful, fostering a desire for more quality time together.

15. Creating Space:

When you express a need for space or solitude to contemplate the relationship, a mix of emotions can arise. The idea of distance might prompt introspection about their feelings and priorities. This introspection might yield a renewed understanding of their emotions and the relationship’s significance. The desire to reconnect might lead them to give you the space you need, while also conveying their openness to discuss matters when you’re ready.

Why does creating distance in a relationship often lead to increased interest?

Creating distance triggers a psychological phenomenon known as the “scarcity principle.” When something becomes less available, its perceived value tends to increase. In relationships, when you pull away and become less accessible, the person you’re in a relationship with might start wondering why you’re distant. The uncertainty and anticipation of your response or presence can intensify their emotions. This heightened emotional state can lead to a stronger desire to reconnect and restore the connection that may seem temporarily disrupted.

Is it manipulative to intentionally pull away to make someone desire you more?

Intentionally creating distance to evoke a reaction isn’t inherently manipulative if your intentions are genuine and the communication is transparent. It becomes problematic when the intention behind your actions is solely to manipulate their feelings without considering their emotions. Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and open communication. If you feel the need to create some space, it’s better to communicate your feelings and reasons honestly rather than trying to manipulate their emotions.

How do I strike the right balance between creating distance and maintaining a healthy relationship?

Balancing distance and closeness requires effective communication and understanding. It’s important to recognize that every individual has different needs for personal space and intimacy. Openly discuss your feelings, expectations, and boundaries with your partner. Understand each other’s perspectives and find a middle ground that respects both your need for space and your partner’s need for connection. Regular check-ins and conversations about how you both feel can help you maintain a healthy equilibrium.

Can pulling away backfire and lead to a loss of interest instead?

Yes, it’s possible. While some people might respond positively to a bit of distance, others could interpret it as a sign of disinterest or lack of commitment. Miscommunication and misunderstandings can arise when the intentions behind creating distance aren’t clear. If you notice that your partner is becoming distant in response to your actions, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation. Express your feelings and intentions to avoid any negative interpretations.

What’s a healthier alternative to creating distance to foster desire in a relationship?

Instead of resorting to intentionally creating distance, focus on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and shared experiences. Engage in activities that allow you both to bond emotionally and intellectually. Openly discussing your goals, dreams, and aspirations can help you connect on a deeper level. When partners feel heard, understood, and appreciated, their desire for each other naturally grows. Building a strong emotional connection is a healthier and more sustainable way to foster desire within a relationship.


Creating a sense of distance in a relationship can indeed spark curiosity and desire. The element of uncertainty and anticipation triggered by reduced communication or time spent together can lead to heightened emotions and a stronger longing to reconnect. 

However, it’s essential to approach this strategy with authenticity and respect for your partner’s feelings. 

Open communication, understanding each other’s needs, and building a foundation of trust remain the most effective ways to foster genuine desire and maintain a healthy, thriving relationship.