15 Things to Do If You Feel Unappreciated in Your Relationship

Things to Do If You Feel Unappreciated in Your Relationship

Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can be emotionally draining and can negatively impact your overall well-being. 

Whether it’s a romantic partnership or a close friendship, everyone desires to feel valued and acknowledged for their efforts and contributions. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel unappreciated, it’s essential to address the issue and take proactive steps to improve the dynamics. 

In this article, we will explore 15 actionable things you can do if you feel unappreciated in your relationship.

15 Things to Do If You Feel Unappreciated in Your Relationship

Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can be disheartening, but it’s crucial to address the issue and take action to improve the situation. Remember that both parties need to contribute to creating a mutually appreciative and supportive connection.

1. Communicate Openly and Honestly:

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. If you’re feeling unappreciated, it’s essential to express your feelings openly and honestly to your partner or friend. Choose an appropriate time and place to have this conversation, ensuring minimal distractions and a comfortable environment. Start by stating your intention for the discussion and affirming your care for the relationship.

During the conversation, focus on using “I” statements to express your emotions and needs. Avoid accusatory language or blame, as this can lead to defensiveness and hinder productive dialogue. Instead, share specific instances where you felt unappreciated and explain how those situations affected you emotionally.

It’s essential to actively listen to their response as well. Be open to their perspective and avoid interrupting them. By fostering an environment of open communication, both parties can gain a deeper understanding of each other’s feelings and work towards finding a solution together.

2. Reflect on Your Expectations:

Take some time for introspection and reflect on your expectations within the relationship. Consider whether these expectations are realistic and reasonable or if they might be excessively high. Unmet expectations can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration, which can contribute to a sense of being unappreciated.

Understanding your own needs and boundaries will enable you to communicate them effectively to your partner or friend. It’s crucial to strike a balance between having expectations and being flexible enough to accommodate the complexities of human interactions. This reflection can also help you identify any potential areas of personal growth and development.

3. Practice Self-Appreciation:

Feeling valued by others is important, but it should not solely determine your self-worth. Practice self-appreciation by recognizing your strengths, accomplishments, and positive qualities. Acknowledge the efforts you make in the relationship and celebrate your achievements, regardless of external validation.

Cultivating self-love and confidence will reduce your dependence on others for approval and appreciation. When you appreciate yourself, you become less reliant on external validation to feel fulfilled and content. This newfound sense of self-assurance can positively impact your relationships by fostering a healthier dynamic built on mutual respect.

4. Set Boundaries:

Boundaries are crucial in any relationship, as they define what is acceptable and what isn’t. If you feel unappreciated, it may be a sign that some boundaries have been crossed or disregarded. Establishing clear boundaries will help protect your emotional well-being and maintain a sense of self-respect.

Identify the areas where you feel your boundaries have been violated or where you need more consideration. Communicate these boundaries to your partner or friend in a calm and assertive manner. Remember that setting boundaries is not about controlling the other person, but about fostering a healthy and respectful relationship.

5. Focus on Your Hobbies and Interests:

When you feel unappreciated in a relationship, it’s easy to become emotionally invested solely in that dynamic. However, it’s essential to maintain a balanced life by focusing on your hobbies and interests outside of the relationship.

Engaging in activities you enjoy will provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment that isn’t dependent on external validation from others. Pursue your passions, hobbies, and interests, as they can serve as a source of personal growth and happiness. Additionally, being involved in activities outside the relationship can lead to new connections and friendships, broadening your support network and overall satisfaction.

By following these steps, you can take proactive measures to address feeling unappreciated in your relationship and work towards building a healthier and more mutually fulfilling connection with your partner or friend. Remember that every relationship requires effort, open communication, and a willingness to grow and evolve together.

6. Seek Support from Trusted Friends or Family:

Feeling unappreciated can be emotionally challenging, and it’s important not to go through it alone. Reach out to friends or family members whom you trust and feel comfortable confiding in. Sharing your feelings with supportive individuals can offer you a fresh perspective on the situation and provide valuable advice.

Talking to someone you trust can also be cathartic and help release pent-up emotions. They may be able to offer insights into potential reasons behind the lack of appreciation or provide suggestions on how to address the issue constructively.

7. Practice Empathy:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. When feeling unappreciated, it can be easy to solely focus on our own emotions. However, taking the time to consider the other person’s perspective is crucial in fostering understanding and compassion.

Try to put yourself in their shoes and consider any struggles or challenges they might be facing. It’s possible that their neglectful behavior is unintentional, and they might not be aware of how it affects you. Practicing empathy can create an atmosphere of openness and lead to more effective communication.

8. Be Patient:

Addressing feelings of unappreciation and working towards a healthier relationship takes time and effort. It’s essential to be patient with yourself and the other person during this process. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s natural for both parties to experience ups and downs along the way.

Be kind to yourself and give the relationship space to grow and evolve positively. Rushing the process may lead to more frustration and misunderstandings. Patience allows room for meaningful progress and the potential for a stronger connection.

9. Focus on Positive Reinforcement:

When striving to improve a relationship, it’s beneficial to focus on positive reinforcement. Acknowledge and appreciate any efforts your partner or friend makes to show their gratitude or support. Positive reinforcement can encourage more acts of appreciation and create a cycle of reciprocity.

Rather than dwelling on the negatives, celebrate the positives and express your gratitude for the little things they do. A nurturing environment that reinforces positive behaviors can help strengthen the bond between both parties.

10. Attend Relationship Counseling:

If your attempts to address the issue on your own are not yielding desired results, seeking professional help through relationship counseling can be immensely beneficial. A trained therapist can offer unbiased guidance, facilitate productive communication, and help both parties navigate complex emotions.

Counseling provides a safe space to express your feelings and concerns while allowing the therapist to mediate the discussion and guide the process. Professional intervention can lead to valuable insights and provide practical tools for improving the relationship.

11. Assess the Relationship’s Long-Term Viability:

While it’s essential to work on improving a relationship, there may come a point where you need to evaluate its long-term viability. If you consistently feel unappreciated despite your efforts, and if the relationship is causing significant distress or harm, it may be time to consider whether it’s worth continuing.

Take an honest look at the dynamics, the level of mutual respect, and whether both parties are committed to positive change. Sometimes, parting ways is the healthiest option for both individuals to find greater happiness and fulfillment elsewhere.

12. Focus on Personal Growth:

Regardless of the relationship’s outcome, investing time and energy in personal growth and self-improvement is invaluable. Engage in workshops, read self-help books, or consider individual therapy to strengthen your emotional resilience and gain valuable insights about yourself.

Focusing on personal growth can lead to increased self-awareness, improved communication skills, and a deeper understanding of your needs and boundaries. These developments can positively impact all aspects of your life, including future relationships.

13. Practice Gratitude:

Cultivate a habit of gratitude in your daily life. Even when feeling unappreciated, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and express gratitude for the little things your partner or friend does for you.

Gratitude can shift your perspective and help you see the relationship in a more balanced light. By expressing appreciation for the positive elements, you create an atmosphere that encourages more acts of kindness and thankfulness.

14. Set a Positive Example:

Lead by example and show appreciation for the people in your life, even if you feel unappreciated. Demonstrating gratitude and kindness can inspire others to reciprocate, leading to a positive shift in the relationship dynamics.

By modeling the behavior you wish to see, you contribute to a culture of appreciation and empathy, fostering a healthier and more fulfilling connection.

15. Trust Your Instincts:

Ultimately, trust your instincts when it comes to deciding the best course of action for the relationship. Take the time to assess your feelings and the progress made in addressing the issue.

If you genuinely believe the relationship is worth salvaging and both parties are committed to positive change, continue working towards improvement. However, if you feel that the relationship is becoming toxic, or if your efforts are consistently met with resistance, prioritizing your well-being and considering moving on may be the most appropriate decision.

What happens when someone feels unappreciated?

Feeling unappreciated can have various consequences on an individual’s emotional well-being and the dynamics of their relationships. Here are some common effects of feeling unappreciated:

  • Emotional Distress: When someone feels unappreciated, they may experience emotional distress, leading to feelings of sadness, frustration, or anger. They might feel hurt or neglected, as their efforts and contributions seem to go unnoticed or undervalued.
  • Decreased Self-Esteem: Feeling unappreciated can negatively impact one’s self-esteem and self-worth. The person may question their value and wonder if they are not good enough, leading to a diminished sense of self-confidence.
  • Resentment and Withdrawal: If unappreciated feelings persist, the person may develop resentment towards the other individual or the relationship. They might start withdrawing emotionally, becoming less engaged or invested in the connection.
  • Communication Breakdown: Unaddressed feelings of unappreciation can lead to communication breakdowns. The person may hesitate to express their emotions openly, fearing it might lead to conflict or further disappointment.
  • Impact on Mental Health: Prolonged feelings of being unappreciated can negatively impact mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, or even depression. The emotional burden of not feeling valued can take a toll on overall well-being.

What are the boundaries you should set to deal with feeling unappreciated?

Setting boundaries when dealing with feeling unappreciated is essential for protecting your emotional well-being and establishing a healthier dynamic in the relationship. Here are some boundaries you can consider setting:

  • Express Your Needs and Expectations: Clearly communicate your emotional needs and expectations to the other person. Let them know what behaviors or actions would make you feel more appreciated. Be specific and assertive in expressing your boundaries.
  • Limit Emotional Investment: If you feel consistently unappreciated, consider limiting your emotional investment in the relationship. This doesn’t mean cutting off all emotions, but rather being mindful of how much of yourself you invest in someone who may not reciprocate your efforts.
  • Say No to Overcommitment: Avoid overextending yourself to please the other person if you feel your efforts are not acknowledged or valued. Learn to say no to additional tasks or responsibilities that go beyond your capacity or comfort level.
  • Reduce Availability: If you feel taken for granted, create some space by reducing your availability. This can involve spending more time on personal activities, hobbies, or other relationships that provide fulfillment and appreciation.
  • Limit Giving Without Reciprocation: Be cautious about continuously giving without receiving anything in return. While relationships involve some level of give and take, make sure it’s balanced and that your contributions are acknowledged.
  • Protect Your Emotions: If you find that interactions with the other person often leave you feeling drained or unappreciated, establish a boundary to protect your emotions. Consider taking breaks from such interactions or limiting the depth of personal sharing until you feel more valued.


Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can be a challenging and disheartening experience. However, by taking proactive steps and setting healthy boundaries, you can navigate through these emotions and work towards a more balanced and fulfilling connection. 

Remember to communicate openly, practice self-reflection, and seek support from trusted individuals. Cultivate gratitude and lead by example, expressing appreciation for the positive aspects of your relationship. 

Ultimately, trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional well-being. By doing so, you empower yourself to create positive changes and build stronger, more appreciative relationships in the future.