No one deserves to be in an unhealthy relationship. If you’re worried that your relationship might be heading in the wrong direction, here are 23 signs to look out for.
23 signs of an unhealthy relationship
If you are in a relationship and notice any of the following signs of an unhealthy relationship, it may be time to reassess your relationship and seek help from a professional.
1. Stop communicating like you used to be
This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship because it shows that you and your partner are no longer on the same page. You may be communicating less often, or you may be communicating in a way that feels forced or uncomfortable. This can be a sign that you’re both growing apart and that your relationship is no longer as healthy as it once was.
If you’re not communicating effectively, it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and tension. If you’re not sure how to communicate effectively with your partner, it may be time to seek out counseling or therapy.
2. Trust and insecurity issues
If one partner is constantly questioning the other’s loyalty and fidelity, it creates an atmosphere of mistrust and tension that can poison the relationship. This can lead to possessiveness, jealousy, and even controlling behavior as one partner tries to keep a tight leash on the other.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel secure and trust each other implicitly. If that trust is breached, it can be difficult to rebuild.
3. Does not respect your opinion and feelings
The first sign of an unhealthy relationship is when your partner does not respect your opinion or feelings. This can be shown in many ways, such as constantly interrupting you when you’re talking, not listening to what you have to say, or belittling your opinions and experiences.
This lack of respect can be extremely hurtful and can make you feel like you’re not worth anything to your partner.
4. Lack of commitment in the relationship
One of the key signs of an unhealthy relationship is a lack of commitment from one or both partners. This may manifest itself in many ways, such as one partner consistently canceling plans, not being interested in plans, or being unwilling to discuss the future of the relationship.
This lack of commitment can be a sign that one or both partners are not invested in the relationship and are not willing to work on it, which can eventually lead to the relationship breaking down.
5. Fighting more often than you’re getting along
While it’s normal for couples to fight from time to time, if you’re constantly at each other’s throats, likely, you’re not communicating effectively or resolve your differences healthily.
This can lead to a toxic cycle of arguments and resentment that can be difficult to break out of. If you’re frequently fighting with your partner, it’s important to seek professional help to learn how to resolve your differences more healthily.
6. Excessive jealousy
Jealousy is a normal emotion. We all feel jealous at times. But, when jealousy becomes excessive, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Excessive jealousy can lead to possessiveness, insecurity, and mistrust. These are all unhealthy emotions that can damage a relationship.
If you find yourself feeling excessively jealous, ask yourself why. Are you afraid of losing your partner? Do you feel like you’re not good enough?
These are all valid concerns. But, they’re also all signs that you need to work on your own self-esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you’ll never feel good about your relationship.
Talk to your partner about your concerns. If they’re truly committed to you, they’ll be understanding and supportive. But, if they’re not, then you might want to reconsider your relationship.
7. Controlling behavior
One of the signs of an unhealthy relationship is when one partner tries to control the other. This can manifest in many different ways, such as making all the decisions, telling the other what to do, not allowing the other to see friends or family, or being excessively jealous.
This kind of behavior creates an imbalance in the relationship, where one person has all the power and the other feels powerless. This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, and can ultimately cause the relationship to break down.
8. Emotional or physical abusive
This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship because it can lead to further violence and/or control within the relationship. It can also create a feeling of fear, isolation, and helplessness in the victim. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional.
9. Belittle, insult, or demean each other
We all have our down days and sometimes take it out on the people closest to us, but if this is a regular occurrence in your relationship it’s a sign that something is wrong.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and appreciation, so if you’re constantly putting each other down it’s a sign that you don’t value or care for each other. This kind of behavior can be extremely damaging to both your self-esteem and your relationship, so it’s important to nip it in the bud as soon as possible.
10. Withdraw or withhold affection
One major sign that a relationship is unhealthy is when one partner withdraws or withholds affection. This can be done in several ways, such as giving the silent treatment, being emotionally distant, or physically withdrawing (e.g. not wanting to hug or kiss).
This is often a way for the person to exert power and control over the other person, and it can be very damaging to the relationship.
11. Imbalance power dynamic
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel an equal sense of power and control. But in an unhealthy relationship, one person often feels like they have more power or control than the other.
This can happen when one person is always making decisions for the other person, or when one person always has the final say in what happens. This imbalance of power can lead to feeling trapped, or like you’re not an equal partner in the relationship.
12. Always threatening to leave or break up
If your partner is always threatening to leave or break up with you, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This is because it shows that your partner is not happy with the relationship and is trying to control you with threats.
It’s also a sign that your partner is not willing to work on the relationship to make it better. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you should be able to talk about your problems and work together to solve them.
13. Being unfaithful
If you or your partner has been unfaithful, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship, and when it’s broken, it can be difficult to rebuild. If you’re not able to trust your partner, it can lead to jealousy, insecurity, and a lack of communication.
If you’ve been cheated on, it’s important to talk to your partner about what happened and try to work through it together.
14. Violate your privacy
Your partner should have no reason to violate your privacy, whether it’s going through your private belongings or snooping through your electronic devices. If they feel the need to do so, it’s a sign that they’re not comfortable with who you are as a person and that they lack trust in the relationship.
This lack of trust can eventually lead to more serious problems, such as your partner trying to control your behavior or isolating you from your friends and family.
15. Can’t be your true self
One of the most common signs of an unhealthy relationship is feeling like you can’t be your true self. If you’re constantly having to put on a persona or suppress parts of your personality, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy.
A healthy relationship should be a safe space where you can be yourself without judgment or fear. If you don’t feel like you can be yourself, it’s a sign that something is wrong.
16. Feeling trapped in the relationship
This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship because it can indicate that one person feels trapped and unhappy, but feels like they can’t leave the relationship. This can be due to several factors, such as feeling like they need to stay for financial reasons, or feeling like they won’t be able to find anyone else.
This can be a very difficult and frustrating situation to be in and can lead to a feeling of hopelessness. If you are in a relationship where you feel like you can’t leave, it’s important to reach out for help and support so that you can find a way out.
17. Sexual dissatisfaction
One of the most common signs of an unhealthy relationship is when one or both partners are not satisfied with their sex life. This can be due to a number of reasons, such as mismatched libidos, different sexual preferences, or even just a general lack of sexual attraction.
Whatever the reason, an unhealthy sex life can lead to many problems, such as resentment, frustration, and even infidelity. If you’re not happy with your sex life, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and see if you can find a way to improve things.
18. Different life values and priorities
When two people are in a relationship, they must share similar life values and priorities. Otherwise, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If one person values their career above everything else, while the other person values their family and personal life above their career, it can lead to conflict and tension.
This can be a sign that the two people are not compatible and that the relationship is not healthy.
19. Does not make an effort to spend time together.
If you’re in a relationship and your partner consistently ignores your attempts to spend quality time together, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in nurturing the relationship.
A healthy relationship requires both partners to make an effort to spend time together and connect regularly. If your partner is always busy or too tired to spend time with you, it’s a sign that they’re not prioritizing the relationship.
20. Don’t have shared interests
It’s important to have things in common with your partner so that you can have things to talk about and do together. If you don’t have any shared interests, it can be difficult to find things to connect over and you may start to feel like you’re not really compatible. This can lead to boredom and resentment, and can ultimately contribute to the demise of your relationship.
21. Take things for granted
We all need to feel appreciated, but when one person in a relationship consistently takes their partner for granted, it creates an unhealthy dynamic. This can manifest in different ways, from neglecting to show up for important events to not bothering to help out with household chores.
It makes you feel like you are not important to your partner and that they don’t care about your needs. Over time, this can erode the bond between you and lead to resentment.
22. Blaming each other and does not take responsibilities
There are many signs of an unhealthy relationship, but one of the most telling is when blame is constantly being placed on the other person. This means that there is a lack of accountability and responsibility being taken by both parties, and it can quickly lead to a toxic and damaging dynamic.
If you find yourself always being blamed for things that go wrong, or if your partner is constantly trying to shift the blame onto you, it’s a sign that your relationship needs some serious work.
23. Playing games
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel comfortable communicating openly with each other about their feelings, thoughts, and needs. However, in an unhealthy relationship, one or both partners may try to control, manipulate, or coerce the other person by playing games.
For example, one partner may withhold information or affection as a way to control or punish the other person. This can be a sign that the relationship is not based on mutual respect and healthy communication.
If you find yourself in a relationship where games are being played, it may be time to reassess your relationship and seek help from a professional if needed.
What should you do if you are in an unhealthy relationship?
If you are in an unhealthy relationship, there are a few things you can do to try and improve the situation.
First, you should try to communicate with your partner about your concerns and see if they are willing to work on the relationship with you. If they are not interested in doing so, then you may need to consider ending the relationship.
However, if you do decide to stay in the relationship, you should make sure to set boundaries and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.