17 Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend And How To Deal With Them

Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend

Having a romantic partner who is caring, considerate, and supportive is a vital aspect of a healthy relationship. However, sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship with a selfish boyfriend, which can cause significant distress and unhappiness. 

Recognizing the signs of selfishness in a relationship is crucial to address the issue and find ways to deal with it effectively. 

In this article, we will explore 17 signs of a selfish boyfriend and provide some guidance on how to handle these situations.

17 Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend

In this section, we explore 17 common indicators of selfish behavior, offering insights into how to navigate these challenges and foster a healthier and more fulfilling connection. By understanding these signs, you can gain the tools to build a more harmonious and balanced relationship.

1) Lack of empathy:

One of the most prominent signs of a selfish boyfriend is a consistent lack of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Unfortunately, a selfish partner may struggle to grasp or appreciate your emotions. He may find it challenging to put himself in your shoes and truly understand what you are going through. This lack of empathy can create a significant emotional distance in the relationship and make it difficult for you to feel heard, understood, and validated.

When you express your feelings or concerns, a selfish boyfriend may dismiss or trivialize them. He might respond with indifference, minimizing the importance of your emotions. This can leave you feeling invalidated and unsupported, as if your feelings don’t matter. Additionally, he may fail to consider the emotional impact of his own actions on you. He may make decisions or engage in behaviors that hurt or upset you without showing genuine remorse or understanding.

2) Self-centeredness:

Another telltale sign of a selfish boyfriend is a pervasive self-centeredness. This means that he consistently prioritizes his own needs, desires, and interests over yours. In his worldview, his needs take precedence, and your needs often take a backseat or are disregarded altogether. This can create an imbalance in the relationship where your voice and wants are marginalized.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel valued and have their needs acknowledged and respected. However, a selfish boyfriend may frequently expect you to put his needs first while disregarding or minimizing your own. He may exhibit a sense of entitlement, believing that he deserves special treatment or privileges without reciprocating those gestures. This self-centered mindset can lead to resentment, frustration, and a general sense of being taken for granted.

3) Inconsiderate behavior:

A selfish boyfriend often displays a pattern of inconsiderate behavior, showing little regard for your feelings or the consequences of his actions. He may act thoughtlessly and disregard the impact his choices have on you. For example, he may frequently cancel plans at the last minute without considering the effort you put into preparing for the event or the disappointment it causes you. He may fail to follow through on commitments or promises, leaving you feeling let down and unimportant.

Furthermore, a selfish partner may disregard your boundaries. He may not respect your personal space, time, or privacy. This can manifest as intrusiveness, such as going through your personal belongings without permission or invading your personal space without consideration for your comfort. By consistently engaging in inconsiderate behavior, he undermines the trust and mutual respect that are vital to a healthy relationship.

4) Constant need for attention:

A selfish boyfriend often has an insatiable need for attention and validation from others, including you. He may seek constant reassurance of his importance and become upset or agitated if he feels ignored or overlooked. This need for attention can manifest in various ways, such as always needing to be the center of attention in social situations or constantly seeking praise and compliments.

In a relationship with a selfish partner, you may find that your own needs for attention and validation are overshadowed. He may monopolize conversations, redirecting the focus back to himself, and showing little interest in your experiences or opinions. This constant need for attention can create an imbalance where your emotional well-being is compromised, as your efforts to support and uplift your partner may go unrecognized or unappreciated.

5) Failure to compromise:

A healthy relationship requires compromise and mutual understanding. However, a selfish boyfriend struggles to find a middle ground and consistently prioritizes his own desires and opinions without considering yours. He may have difficulty acknowledging that your needs and wants are equally valid and deserving of consideration.

When conflicts or disagreements arise, a selfish partner may insist on having his own way, dismissing or dismissing your perspective. Compromise becomes challenging because he is unwilling to budge or find a solution that takes both of your needs into account. This one-sided approach can create resentment and erode the foundation of trust and cooperation in the relationship.

6) Manipulative tendencies:

Selfish individuals often resort to manipulation as a means to get what they want. A selfish boyfriend may employ various manipulative tactics to control your actions, emotions, or decisions. These manipulative tendencies can take different forms, such as guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or passive-aggressive behavior.

Guilt trips involve making you feel guilty for asserting your own needs or desires. Your boyfriend may use emotional manipulation to make you question your choices or make you feel responsible for his unhappiness or dissatisfaction. Emotional blackmail, on the other hand, involves using threats or ultimatums to make you comply with his wishes, even if it goes against your own well-being or values. Passive-aggressive behavior is another form of manipulation where he indirectly expresses his discontent or frustration through subtle and indirect means, making it challenging for you to address the underlying issues.

Engaging in manipulative tactics can create a toxic dynamic in the relationship, eroding trust, and fostering an atmosphere of fear or uncertainty. It is essential to recognize these manipulative behaviors and establish healthy boundaries to protect your own emotional well-being.

7) Neglecting your needs:

A selfish boyfriend often overlooks your emotional and physical needs. He may fail to prioritize your well-being and may seem indifferent or dismissive of your needs, leaving you feeling neglected and unimportant. This neglect can manifest in various ways, such as failing to provide emotional support when you’re going through a difficult time, disregarding your desires for intimacy or affection, or not showing interest in your overall happiness.

When you express your needs, a selfish partner may downplay their significance or make excuses for not meeting them. This consistent neglect can take a toll on your self-esteem and create feelings of loneliness and emotional isolation. It is important to communicate your needs clearly and assertively, while also evaluating whether your partner is capable of meeting them and prioritizing your well-being.

8) Lack of support:

In a healthy relationship, support from your partner is crucial, particularly during challenging times. However, a selfish boyfriend tends to be unsupportive when you need it the most. Whether you’re pursuing personal or professional endeavors, he may fail to provide the encouragement, assistance, or understanding that you require.

A selfish partner may be dismissive of your goals, dreams, or aspirations, showing little interest or actively undermining your efforts. Instead of being your cheerleader and source of motivation, he may offer discouragement or skepticism. This lack of support can be disheartening and lead to self-doubt and diminished confidence. It is important to evaluate whether your partner’s lack of support is a consistent pattern or a temporary setback, and consider seeking support from other sources if needed.

9) Dismissive of your opinions:

If your boyfriend consistently dismisses your thoughts, ideas, or opinions, it’s a sign of selfishness. He may believe that his perspective is always superior and disregard your contributions to the relationship. This dismissive behavior can leave you feeling unheard, undervalued, and as if your thoughts don’t matter. It erodes the foundation of open communication and mutual respect that is essential in a healthy relationship.

10) Difficulty with apologies:

Selfish individuals find it challenging to offer sincere apologies. Your boyfriend may struggle to take responsibility for his actions and show genuine remorse when he hurts or upsets you. Instead of owning up to his mistakes, he may deflect blame or offer half-hearted apologies that lack sincerity. This behavior demonstrates a lack of accountability and an unwillingness to acknowledge the impact of his actions on your emotions.

11) Jealousy and possessiveness:

A selfish boyfriend may display jealousy and possessiveness, attempting to control your actions and limit your independence. This behavior stems from his desire to have you all to himself, disregarding your individuality and personal freedom. He may exhibit unwarranted jealousy over harmless interactions with others, monitor your social activities, or make unreasonable demands on your time and attention. These possessive behaviors can be suffocating and indicative of his selfish need to possess and control you.

12) Lack of reciprocity:

Reciprocity is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. Both partners should contribute equally, whether it’s emotional support, acts of kindness, or efforts to maintain the relationship. However, a selfish boyfriend often fails to reciprocate these gestures, leaving you feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. He may expect you to go above and beyond for him while making little effort to meet your needs or make you feel valued. This imbalance can lead to resentment and emotional exhaustion.

13) Financial selfishness:

Money matters can be a significant source of conflict in relationships. A selfish boyfriend may display a lack of financial responsibility, constantly expecting you to cover expenses or refusing to contribute his fair share. He may prioritize his own financial desires and personal spending habits over shared responsibilities, leaving you feeling burdened and financially strained. This financial selfishness demonstrates a lack of consideration for your well-being and the financial health of the relationship.

14) Boundary violations:

Selfish individuals often struggle to respect boundaries, both physical and emotional. Your boyfriend may regularly invade your personal space, disregard your requests for privacy, or make decisions that directly impact you without consulting you. This violation of boundaries can leave you feeling disrespected, violated, and powerless. It is essential to establish and enforce healthy boundaries in a relationship to ensure your autonomy and emotional well-being.

15) Emotional manipulation:

Selfish partners may resort to emotional manipulation to gain control or make you feel guilty. They may use your vulnerabilities against you, exploiting your emotions for their benefit. This manipulation can take various forms, such as gaslighting (making you doubt your own perception of reality), emotional blackmail, or playing on your insecurities. By manipulating your emotions, a selfish boyfriend can maintain power and control in the relationship while disregarding the impact on your mental and emotional well-being.

16) Lack of interest in your life:

A selfish boyfriend demonstrates little interest in your life outside of the relationship. He may rarely ask about your day, your interests, or your goals, focusing primarily on his own concerns. This lack of interest can leave you feeling unimportant and undervalued. A healthy relationship should involve mutual support, curiosity, and investment in each other’s lives. When your boyfriend consistently shows a disinterest in your experiences, it signifies his self-centeredness and lack of concern for your emotional connection.

17) Unwillingness to change:

Finally, a selfish boyfriend may show little interest in changing his behavior or prioritizing your needs. He may be resistant to discussions about the relationship or dismissive of your concerns. This unwillingness to change demonstrates a lack of commitment to personal growth and the betterment of the relationship. It indicates that his selfishness is deeply ingrained, and he may prioritize his own comfort and desires over the overall health and happiness of the partnership.

How to deal with a selfish boyfriend

Dealing with a selfish boyfriend can be challenging, as it often requires navigating complex emotions and difficult conversations. However, by taking proactive steps and implementing effective strategies, you can address the issue and work towards improving the relationship. Here are some key strategies to consider when dealing with a selfish boyfriend:

1) Communicate openly:

Effective communication is crucial when dealing with selfish behavior. Take the time to express your concerns and feelings to your boyfriend in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Clearly articulate how his behavior impacts you and the relationship. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and avoid accusatory language that may lead to defensiveness. Be open to listening to his perspective as well, as it can help foster understanding and empathy.

2) Set boundaries:

Establishing clear boundaries is vital when dealing with a selfish partner. Determine what behaviors you find unacceptable and communicate them assertively. Clearly communicate your expectations regarding respect, consideration, and reciprocity. By setting boundaries, you establish guidelines for the relationship and ensure that your needs are acknowledged and respected. Remember that setting boundaries also involves enforcing them. Be firm in upholding your boundaries and communicate the consequences when they are crossed.

3) Focus on self-care:

Dealing with a selfish boyfriend can take a toll on your emotional well-being. Prioritize self-care to ensure that you are taking care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Seek support from friends and family who can provide a listening ear and offer guidance. Invest time in hobbies, exercise, and self-reflection to maintain a healthy sense of self and boost your self-esteem.

4) Seek professional help:

If the selfish behavior persists and significantly affects your well-being, consider seeking guidance from a couples therapist or counselor. They can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies to navigate the challenges in your relationship. A professional can help facilitate productive conversations and provide tools to address the underlying issues contributing to the selfish behavior. Therapy can also provide a safe space to explore and process your emotions, empowering you to make informed decisions about the future of the relationship.

5) Consider your options:

While efforts to address and improve the relationship are important, it is essential to evaluate whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling for you. Reflect on your own happiness and well-being. Consider whether the selfish behavior is a consistent pattern or a temporary setback. Assess the overall compatibility, trust, and respect in the relationship. If the selfish behavior persists despite your efforts and compromises, you may need to make difficult decisions about the future of the relationship. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where your needs are valued, and your emotional well-being is prioritized.

While it’s essential to make efforts to address the issue, recognize that you cannot change someone else’s behavior entirely. If the relationship becomes consistently unhealthy or one-sided, it may be necessary to reassess whether it is best for your long-term happiness and personal growth. 

Trust yourself and your instincts when making decisions about your future, and surround yourself with a support system that uplifts and empowers you.

How do I know if my boyfriend’s behavior is truly selfish or just a temporary phase?

Differentiating between selfish behavior and a temporary phase can be challenging. Look for consistent patterns of self-centeredness, disregard for your feelings, and an ongoing lack of empathy. 

If these behaviors persist over a prolonged period and negatively impact the relationship, it is likely a sign of inherent selfishness. Temporary phases usually involve situational factors that can be resolved with open communication and effort from both partners.

Can a selfish boyfriend change his behavior?

While it is possible for a selfish boyfriend to change his behavior, it depends on his willingness to acknowledge his actions and make a genuine effort to improve. Addressing selfishness often requires open communication, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth. 

However, change can only occur if the individual acknowledges their behavior, takes responsibility, and actively works on improving themselves. 

It is important to remember that change takes time and effort, and it is ultimately up to the individual to decide if they are willing to make that change.

Is it worth staying in a relationship with a selfish boyfriend?

The decision to stay in a relationship with a selfish boyfriend is deeply personal and depends on various factors. It is important to assess the overall health of the relationship, the extent of the selfish behavior, and the impact it has on your well-being. 

Consider whether the relationship brings you happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of mutual respect. If the selfish behavior persists despite your efforts to address it and compromises, and if it consistently undermines your emotional well-being, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and prioritize your own happiness and self-worth. 

Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals can help you navigate this decision-making process.


Understanding these signs of a selfish boyfriend is crucial in assessing the dynamics of your relationship. However, it is important to remember that every relationship is unique, and these signs may vary in intensity and frequency. If you find that your partner exhibits several of these signs consistently, it may be worth evaluating the overall health and compatibility of the relationship. Communication, setting boundaries, and seeking professional guidance can all be valuable tools in navigating these challenges and fostering a healthier and more fulfilling connection.