The No Contact Rule is a popular strategy used in relationships to help individuals heal and move on from a breakup.
It involves completely cutting off all contact with your ex for some time. But how do you know if it’s working?
In this article, we’ll discuss 16 signs that the No Contact Rule is working. These signs will tell you that you’re making progress and that the No Contact Rule is helping you to heal from the breakup and move on with your life.
Or, if you are using the no-contact rule to win back your ex, we also share the 5 most common signs that the no-contact rule is working on your ex.
16 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working
If you’re wondering if the no-contact rule is working, here are 16 signs that it’s working and you are recovering from the breakup.
1. You’re not trying to “win” your ex back.
The no-contact rule is working on you if you no longer feel the need to get your ex back. You are no longer consumed by thoughts of them and you don’t feel the urge to contact them.
This is a sign that you are moving on, as you are no longer in the same mental and emotional state as you were when you two were together.
2. You’re no longer fixating on the past.
You’ve stopped ruminating over the past and you’re no longer trying to replay the events in your mind and figure out what went wrong. Your thoughts have shifted and you’re now focused on the present and the future.
This indicates that the no-contact rule is going well and you’re taking steps toward recovery and a brighter future.
3. You’re able to focus on rebuilding your life.
You have more energy to focus on rebuilding your life in a healthier, more positive way. Maybe you’re investing your energy into activities that bring you joy, or maybe you’re establishing healthier boundaries with yourself and other people.
You’re able to spend your time and energy on things that matter to you, without worrying about the other person. This is a sign that the no-contact rule is working on you, and that you’re getting your life back on track.
4. You don’t feel like you need your ex to be happy.
You have identified areas of your life that need attention and have worked on them. You have re-established healthy boundaries and are no longer relying on your ex for validation or love.
You have become more independent and secure in who you are. This is a sign of growth and a sign that the no-contact rule is working on you.
5. You are making plans for the future and feeling excited about them.
Being able to make plans for the future without being distracted by thoughts of your ex shows that the no-contact rule has helped you to move on and work on yourself. It is also a sign that you are healing and growing, getting closer to the future you have always wanted.
6. You’re not obsessively checking their social media.
You no longer have the urge to know what they’re doing or who they’re with. This is a sign that the no-contact rule is working on you. It encourages you to focus on yourself and to do things that make you happy.
It helps you to emotionally detangle yourself from the person and to move on healthily. By abstaining from contact, you’re giving yourself the space to heal and slowly build up the strength to move on.
7. You’re able to focus on yourself and your own needs.
By not engaging with your former partner, you are giving yourself the space and time to heal and grow. You may find that you are better able to recognize and meet your own needs and desires, as well as take part in activities that bring you joy. This is a great sign that the no-contact rule is helping you to move on and heal.
8. You’re able to look at the situation objectively.
The no-contact rule is working on you when you’re able to see yourself, your behaviors, and your thoughts in a more objective light. For example, you can look back on the relationship without being clouded by emotion.
In addition to that, you can now understand why the relationship ended, and how you were a part of it. You also have more clarity on the behaviors of your ex and how they contributed to the end of the relationship.
9. You’re no longer feeling jealous or resentful of your ex.
You are no longer feeling jealous or resentful because you are no longer being reminded of the person. This shows that the no-contact rule is helping you to move on and heal from the breakup. You are now allowing yourself to focus on yourself and your well-being.
10. You’re no longer seeking validation from your ex.
As you progress through the no-contact rule, you will start to feel more independent and empowered, and you will no longer need your ex’s validation or approval. You will have the confidence to stand on your own and make decisions based on what is best for you and your life.
This is a sign that the no-contact rule is working, and you have taken an important step forward in your journey of healing.
11. You’re feeling more confident in yourself and your decisions.
When you take a step back and take the time to observe your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you can start to understand them better and gain more confidence in yourself and your decisions.
When you can trust your judgment, it can give you the strength to make decisions that are in line with your values and that are beneficial for you in the long run.
12. You’re no longer trying to make your ex jealous.
The no-contact rule is working when you longer trying to make your ex jealous. This is because you have come to realize that you are worth more than trying to make someone else jealous.
With the no-contact rule, you can take control of your emotions and not rely on my ex to make you feel worthy anymore. You come to terms with the breakup and accept that it is over. And, you do not want to carry the baggage with you anymore.
13. You’ve stopped engaging in conversations about your ex.
The no-contact rule works when you stop talking about your ex with your friends and family because you are now shifted your focus and attention to other more important areas of your life. New things and people will fill in the gap and become the new conversation topic with friends and you will forget about your ex eventually.
14. You’ve stopped comparing people to your ex.
When you’re in the midst of a breakup, it can be easy to compare every new person you meet to your ex. But after applying the no-contact rule, you’ve begun to recognize that you’re worth more than the hurtful memories associated with your ex and that you deserve to meet someone who will treat you with respect and love. This is an important step in your healing process and a sign that the no-contact rule is working.
15. You’re feeling more in control of your emotions.
You’re no longer feeling as overwhelmed and hurt as you used to when thinking of your ex. You’re feeling more in touch with your feelings and better able to assess your thoughts and feelings without being affected by the external noise of your relationship. This is a sign that the no-contact rule is working for you and that you’re learning to put yourself first.
16. You no longer feel like you need closure from the relationship.
The no-contact rule has been working on you because you can finally move on from the relationship without feeling a sense of loss. You don’t feel the need to reach out to your ex for an explanation or to have that last conversation.
Also, you have found a sense of peace and acceptance with the situation and your emotions have been put to rest. This is a sign that the no-contact rule is working on you and you are making progress in your recovery.
You are no longer fixated on the past and instead, you are now able to focus on your future and the possibilities that await you.
5 Signs No Contact Rule is working on your ex
For people who are using the no contact rule to get their ex back, here are the top 5 signs that it has already begun to work on your ex.
1. Your ex texts or calls you
When you first started the no contact rule, your ex may have tried to get in contact with you, but when they realize that you are no longer responding to them, they will start to feel the effects of the no contact rule. This may cause them to reach out as they begin to miss you and feel the absence of your presence in their life.
2. Your ex interacts with your social media post
The no-contact rule is working on your ex if he or she interacts with your social media post. This interaction could come in the form of a like, comment, or direct message. It is a sign that he or she is still interested in and paying attention to your activity.
Although it may be tempting to respond, it is best to refrain and continue to focus on yourself and your own life. This will allow your ex to miss you and your relationship. Showing that you are doing well without them may encourage them to take more initiative to reconnect with you.
3. Your ex is more responsive
The no-contact rule is working on your ex if they are more responsive to your attempts at communication and more open to engaging with you. Perhaps they are initiating conversations more often or replying to your messages more quickly.
This is a sign that the no-contact rule is having a positive effect as it is encouraging them to reach out and start to engage with you again. They may also be more willing to meet up with you to talk or do something together.
4. Your ex sends you wishes or presents
By refraining from contact and allowing them to miss you, your ex is beginning to reflect on their behavior and the relationship. This may be their way of reaching out, even if it is indirectly. This action is an indication that they are starting to think about you, and this shows that the no-contact rule is effective.
Not only that, but it also shows that they are starting to realize their mistakes and are trying to make amends. This could be the first step to repairing your relationship.
5. Your ex wants to get back together
While it may have been hard to stay away from your ex, your efforts have paid off. It shows that your ex has been thinking about you, and is feeling the effects of not having you in their life. The no-contact rule created space for your ex to reflect on the relationship and realize its importance. This is why your ex is now reaching out and wanting to get back together.
When to Re-Engage After No Contact
It is best to wait at least two weeks before considering re-engagement. This will give you the time and space to process your emotions and think clearly about the situation.
It is also important to consider why you initiated no contact in the first place and if the issue has been resolved. If the issue has been resolved, you can consider re-engaging and continuing the relationship. However, if the issue has not been resolved, it is best to continue no contact until the issue is addressed.
Reengaging too early can lead to the same problems that caused you to initiate no contact in the first place. Consider your feelings and the situation before deciding when to reengage.
What should you do if your ex reached out to you during the contact phase?
If your ex reaches out to you during the no-contact phase, it is best to remain respectful and polite but keep your distance.
Positively responding to their message can give the wrong impression and could lead to further contact. It is important to remember that the no-contact phase is a time to focus on healing and self-care, and engaging in contact with an ex can derail that process.
If your ex reaches out to you, it is best to thank them for the message and then stop any further contact. If you find that you are feeling tempted to respond or engage in conversation, it is best to take a step back and focus on yourself, your goals, and your recovery.
What to do if the no-contact rule does not work
First, take the time to assess your feelings and the reasons why the no contact rule is not working. For example, are you feeling lonely and missing your partner? Or are you feeling angry and resentful that they are not respecting your decision to cut off contact? By understanding your feelings, you can better determine what actions to take.
Second, find ways to distract yourself and stay busy. Spend time with friends and family, pick up a new hobby, or take up a volunteer opportunity. Doing activities you enjoy will help to take your mind off your ex-partner and allow you to focus on yourself and your happiness.
Third, practice self-care. Eat healthy meals, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical health will help you to feel better emotionally.
Fourth, seek professional help if needed. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you to process your emotions, learn new coping skills, and gain clarity on how to move forward.
Finally, give yourself time. Even if the no-contact rule is not working for you for now momentarily, you can still heal by slowly shifting the focus back to your own life. It will take time, but with patience and self-compassion, you will be able to get through this difficult time.