Now sure how to reignite a conversation and do not want to appear desperate or awkward?
Well, you have come to the right place if you want to know how to talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time.
In this guide, you will learn the 5 steps from talking to someone you haven’t been talking to for a while to asking them out.
Plus, you will get 15 conversation starters to help you to kick start the conversation naturally.
How To Talk To Someone You Haven’t Talked To In A Long Time.
Here are the 5 major steps to talk to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. The conversation examples are provided too, so you know what can you say exactly during the conversation.
Step 1: Reconnect On Social Media
If you haven’t been talking with each other for a while, then it can be pretty awkward if you were to call him/her out of a sudden.
So, instead of doing that, you can warm up the relationship first on social media.
Here are a few things you can do to approach him/her:
- When he/she post exciting things on social media (and it resonates with you), you can leave a comment on it and end it with a question.
- If he/she replies back, you can choose to direct message him/her and continue the conversation in private.
- Occasionally, you should post exciting or positive posts on your social media too. This gives the other person the opportunity to learn more about you and comment back on your post.
- Try to be the first one to leave a comment on his/her post. This will increase the chance to get a reply.
- After you get a reply comment, you should try to switch from post to direct messaging.
- For example, once he/she has commented back on their Facebook post, you can try to initiate a conversation via Facebook messenger.
Step 2: Quick Conversation
After you switch to direct messaging, you can ask them how’s their life lately?
Questions you can ask:
- Where are you staying now?
- Where do you work now?
- Do you still keep in touch with Judy (mutual friend)?
- Do you go back to your hometown often?
Don’t expect to have a long chat here because it will not be accessible unless he/she is also super eager to talk to you after a long time.
Step 3: Suggest To Catch Up With Them Sometimes
After a short conversation, you can suggest that both of you should catch up with each other sometimes.
At this point, there’s no need to set a date and time for it unless he/she take the initiative and tell you when he/she is free. You do not want to give him/her too much pressure and show up as desperate.
So, you can just go for a simple suggestion like “It has been so long since I last met you. We should catch up sometimes. I would love to hear your stories.”
They will most probably reply, “Sure, let’s catch up with each other sometimes.”
Step 4: Make sure you have their latest contact info
If you are approaching him/her on the social media platform, you want to double confirm if he/she is still using the old contact number you keep.
Then, you want to give them your contact number if you have changed yours.
“By the way, this is my new number xxx-xxx-xxxx. I no longer using the old one. Are you still using xxx-xxx-xxxx?”
If they have changed their number, they will give you a new one.
Step 5: Ask Them Out
When you have a quick conversation with them during step 3 above, you should ask where they stay or where they work now.
Then, whenever you have a plan nearby that place (create one if you don’t have one), you can ask if they want to grab a drink or brunch together. This way, you are not asking him/her out on purpose. You won’t be appeared as too desperate.
Text Example To Ask Him/Her Out:
“Hey, Judy, I have an appointment at (area near her place) this Saturday. It should be finishing at around 11 am. Do you wanna grab a brunch together?”
They will say yes if they are accessible and willing to see you. Otherwise, do not give them pressure. Just tell them, “it’s okay, maybe next time then.”
If you have been asking them out more than 3 times but fail, then maybe it’s because they do not want to see you in person. That is not your fault. So, don’t take it, person. In that case, perhaps both of you should just keep in touch via phone for the moment.
Alternative Ways To Talk To Someone You Haven’t Spoken for a While.
1) Send holidays or festival greetings
You can send them wishes during their birthday, Christmas, New Year, or other suitable holidays.
2) Send an old picture that carries shared memories.
You can send them the old college photos or photos where both of you were having fun together. It will create a nostalgic feeling and hopefully can spark a short conversation with them.
3) Directly texting
Directly text and tell them that you have been thinking about them. Suggest that both of you should catch up sometimes.
What To Say To When You Meet Someone You Haven’t Spoken To For Awhile
Here is the conversation flow on how to talk to someone you haven’t talked to for a long time.
1) Just say hi and express that it has been quite a long time since both of you met.
2) Then, tell them that you are happy to see them and miss the good old days.
3) Talk about some good memories that both of you shared.
4) Ask them how’s their life is and what their primary focus now. Get updated about their life.
5) Share what you are doing and what is interesting in your life now.
6) Then, you can ask them about the future. What is their goals in different areas of life: work, relationship, self-growth, etc.
7) Share what is your future plan and your goals too.
8) If they have some fantastic accomplishment or have an inspiring vision, you can give them a compliment to make them feel appreciated.
9) In further conversation, you can try to find more common things between you two. For example, what is their hobby or passion, what kind of books, movies, activities they like, etc.?
10) At the end of the meet-up session, you can let them know that you feel great to meet them after so long.
11) Suggest that you both should catch up with each other again. If there’s a common interest between you two, then you can suggest doing it together next time. For example, both of you like to read, then you can suggest having a book exchange session next time.
12) Keep in touch over the phone. Send them something super funny or things that remind you of them occasionally.
15 Texts To Send Someone You Haven’t Talked To In Awhile
- I know it’s random, but I just thought of you recently. How’s life?
- Hey, Judy. Long time no see! How are you?
- Merry Christmas! (Or other greetings) It’s been ages. How are ya?
- Hey Judy. Long time no see. Just wanna drop by and say hi.
- The old photos (Or any share memories like movie, music, book, and places)reminds me of you. hahaha, How’s life?
- Hey, my friend, it’s been ages since I last catch up with ya. Are you still alive?
- Hi Judy! How’s life? Are you still working in Japan? (confirming something you know from the last conversation)
- I still kept the gift/old photos with me. (send the picture). It was so long ago. Hahaha. How are you?
- Hey Judy! Haven’t seen you in ages. How are you? We should catch up sometime.
- I met Sean yesterday, and we mentioned you. It has been a long time since I last met you. How are you?
- Hey Judy. It’s been ages. How are you? I kinda miss ya you already.
- Hi Judy. I saw you got an achievement award lately. Congratulations! How have you been, by the way?
- Hey Jenna, I miss you already. We should catch up sometime.
- Just wanna drop by and say hi coz I know you miss me already =)
- Hey, I will be in your neighborhood tomorrow. Wanna grab a drink together?
Should You Flirt Over Text After You Just Reconnected With Someone You Haven’t Spoken for A While?
I would suggest you leave the flirting part until both of you meet up first.
Flirting face to face has a more tremendous advantage because you can rely on clues like body language and tonality. Real-time feedback can help you to judge if you are moving ahead too fast.
Besides that, when you meet up, you can flirt not only by words but also by physical touch. That is a powerful way to increase the intimacy level.
On the other hand, if meet up is a problem, you have no choice but to only flirt over the phone.
However, you should start with something casual, so you won’t scare the other person off. For example, “My dog wants me to tell you that he’s missing you already.” is more casual than “I miss you so much. I wish to hug you in my arms now.”
If the other person accepts your casual flirt, or they even flirt back, then you can level up the intensity slowly to something more sexual, if you want.
What If They Do Not Reply Or are Not Interested To Reconnect
Don’t hold grudges. They do not owe you anything.
If they have decided they want to move on with their life without you, it does not mean you are bad or worthless. It only means that they are not meant to stay in your life.
You should move on too and enjoy living your life surrounded by people who treasure you as you do for them.
The Bottom Line Of Talking To Someone You Haven’t Talked To In A Long Time.
Everyone is busy moving forward with their own lives every day. So, it is inevitable that we might forget to keep in touch with our friends sometimes.
Once you understand this, then talking to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time will become something very normal to do. It is totally not going to be awkward anymore.
When you talk in a casual and relaxed mode, the other person will most likely respond in the same way too. So, just be relaxed, and you’ll be fine. No need to overthink nor overcomplicate the process.