Welcome to my guide on how to talk to a girl at the gym.
In this guide, you will discover the right moment and the right way to approach a girl in the gym without being awkward.
You will also get the exact script on what you should say during the approaching.
It will help you initiate a conversation naturally, so you won’t show up as a creepy guy trying to hit on girls in the gym.
How To Talk To A Girl At The Gym
Well, there are 2 ways (direct & indirect method) to talk to a girl at the gym. Which one to pick depends on what your goal is and how confident you are.
The Direct Methods
If you are confident enough, you can use a direct approach to talk to the girl you like.
There are 3 ways to talk to the girl directly.
Direct Method#1: Compliment
If you have the opportunity, try to sit next to her in the class or work out near her. Then, after the class or when she is resting between sets, you can compliment her.
Here’s what you can say:
- The class today was tiring, but you did really well.
- I like the way you give your best in the class just now.
- The way you work out is full of determination. It’s amazing.
- Wow, your move is incredible. Have you been working out for long?
- I like the way you give in 100% in that pushup. It’s motivating.
If she accepts your compliment or as long as she does not back off, then you can continue to speak to her.
At this moment, it’s best to introduce yourself and get to know her name since she is open to having a conversation.
Introduction Example:
You: The class was kinda tiring today, but I see you did really well right there.
She: Hi. Thank you. Yeah, it was tiring, but I enjoyed it.
You: Oh yeah, by the way, my name is John. What’s your name?
She: I’m Melissa.
You: Melissa. Well, nice to meet you. I got to go, see you around next time.
Above is the standard conversation model. If the girl is friendly and more talkative than you have expected, then you can try to exchange a few more words with her.
For example, you can ask her how long she has been working out or attending the class. Does she work out for a specific purpose or goal? How frequently does she work out? You can ask any questions you want, but it’s best to keep the conversation topic around gym or workout.
Direct Method#2: Ask for help or recommendation:
You can ask for help if you are new to the gym. For example, if you are not familiar with the machine, you can ask for her help.
Alternatively, you can ask for a recommendation. For example, if you see she has good-looking abs, you can say, “How did you train your abs? Do you follow any specific routine? Can you recommend it to me?”
If you say it this way, you indirectly praise her, and she will be more than happy to show you how.
You can also ask for a recommendation for how to do proper stretching. Most girls know how to do Yoga, and they often do stretching after the session. So, most of them know stretching well.
Ask her if you can join her and have her teach you the proper way of stretching. Most girls will not reject you because you just give her a chance to show how good she is.
Conversation example:
You: Wow, how did you train your abs? Do you follow any specific routine? Can you recommend it to me?
She: Uhm.. sure. I usually do this…(explain the routine)
You: Ok, so how many sets do you do per day.
She: Just 4 sets per day.
You: Awesome. I will be sure to practice it every day. Oh yeah, by the way, my name is John. I forgot to get your name. What’s your name?
She: Melissa.
You: Melissa. Cool. I guess we better continue our routine. Thanks for the recommendation.
She: No problem.
Above is the standard conversation. Again, if she looks pretty nice and friendly, you can continue to talk to her a while more.
Direct Method#3: Introduction
If you are confident enough in your social skills, you can choose to walk straight up to her and talk to her.
Conversation Example:
You: Hi, I’ve seen you around, but I didn’t get the chance to know you. I’m John. What’s your name?
She: Melissa.
You: Melissa. I have seen you a few times in the cardio class. Do you workout frequently?
She: Not really. Just twice a week.
You: Me too. I do it 2-3 times a week. Well, it is great to know you, Melissa. I got to go, so maybe see you again in the next class.
She: Sure. See ya.
Again, above is the standard conversation. If she gives you a lot of positive feedback that she wants to know you too, then you can try to ask her out on the spot.
The Indirect Method
The indirect method will require more effort and time to pull the trick. However, by using this method, you won’t be seen like a guy who is trying to hit on a girl in the gym.
If you are a shy type of person, this can be a more comfortable way for you.
To use this indirect method, you need to first get close to her. You can either join the same class and sit nearby to her or workout nearby her.
When you are getting near her, she will probably look at you for a split second. Seize the opportunity, look at her casually and drop your first “hi.”
That’s it. Just say “hi” and allow her to remember you. She will most probably say hi back or just nod her head. Do not need to force a conversation if the timing is not correct.
The goal of saying hi for the first time is to open up the chance for you to strike a conversation next time when the timing is right.
You should continue to say hi to her every week. At the same time, you should also say hi to others in the gym and make friends with everyone, including your classmates, the gym personnel, and the trainer. This is to build up a small social circle in the gym, so you won’t be seen as the guy trying to hit on the girl.
Knowing more people can help you to raise your confidence level too. And, a guy with a broader social circle is often more attractive to a girl. So, try your best to make friends with everyone as it will help you in your positioning.
Then, slowly you can start to exchange a few words with her after seeing her around a few times.
Things you can talk about:
1) The gym environment, upgrades, changes
2) Simple compliment for her: you look energetic as usual
3) Ask her, “how’s your day?”
Then, after you manage to have a short conversation with her a few times, you can start to introduce yourself. “I’ve seen you around for quite a while, but I still don’t know what’s your name yet. I’m John, by the way.”
At this phase, she probably will not feel awkward to give you her name as she has already seen you around for quite some time, and you are being very friendly to everyone. It’s apparent that you are just friends, and you are not trying to hit on her.
Once you know her name, you can start to chat with her like how you talk with your friend.
You can start asking her things like:
1) What is your goal for working out?
2) Which muscle do you want to work on today?
3) Are you into any sports?
When both of you become friends, it will be easier for you to ask her out. After the workout, just suggest grabbing something together.
“I know an excellent cafe nearby. Do you want to join me? We can grab some good food there.” Most likely, she will say yes because everyone feels hungry after working out.
That’s how you go from talking to her to asking her out, step-by-step. This is a better approach for you if you are a shy person and want to take it slow.
How To Ask A Girl Out?
If she seems to enjoy the conversation with you or is kind of friendly, you can ask her out for a drink.
Here’s what you can say to ask her out:
I don’t know, but you look like a fun person. Maybe we can grab a drink together sometime if you are comfortable. What do you think?
If she says yes, then you should immediately say, “Ok, I’ll text you then”. At the same time, you should be taking out your phone to get her phone number.
If she says no or replies with silence, you should always stay calm and say, “ok, no problem, take it as a compliment then. See you around.” Then, just be a gentleman, leave the scene and continue whatever you are doing or going to do.
Important note on talking to girls in the gym:
1) Do not interrupt the girl
If the girl is working out or is wearing an earphone, it’s not good timing to approach her. You should wait until she is done or resting in between sets, so you won’t annoy her.
2) Do not comment outright on her appearance.
If you don’t know her yet, you should avoid giving sexual compliments like hot ass, nice ass. That’s dumb, and it can make her feel uncomfortable during working out.
You can compliment her on her effort and body posture. If you want to go a little bit further, you can say, “you look super fit” or “nice abs.” That’s acceptable.
Best Timing To Talk To A Girl At The Gym
1) Before a workout, after the workout, and resting between sets
Avoid interrupting her when she is working on her routine. It will break her flow and annoys her.
2) When you sit or using equipment next to her
When you get near to her, she will probably take a glimpse of you. You can catch that moment to say hi to her.
If she is resting, you can take the opportunity to exchange a few words with her, then go back to your routine.
3) Filling the water bottle
When she go and fill up her water bottle, it means she is free now. You can take the chance to talk to her.
4) Change or returning the equipment
You can offer to help her to place the equipment back to where it is supposed to be.
You can also tell her that you want to use the equipment that she has just finished using. Tell her that it’s ok, you will take over and she can leave the equipment there.
5) Stretching
When she is stretching, you can ask her if she can teach you how to stretch as well. Then, you can join her in the short stretching session.
Remember to introduce yourself in the stretching session.
The Bottom Line Of Talking To A Girl At The Gym
You should aim to become her friend first because that would be more realistic than dating her out right away.
After she knows, it will be easier for you to get her phone number and ask her out.
Guys, I wish you all the best in talking to the girl you like in the gym.
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