Welcome to my ultimate guide on how to start a conversation with anyone effortlessly.
I started this blog because I wanted to help people become more confident, charismatic and influential in conversation and dating.
Being an introvert (INTJ), I always thought that I’m just naturally bad at socializing and talking to people. That is why I find it hard to connect with others, and I do not have many friends. I used to think that this can’t be changed.
However, later I found out that being an introvert does not necessarily mean that you are bad at connecting with others. They are two separate things.
If you are an introvert (characteristics), it only means that you are more sensitive to stimuli around you, and you can capture more inputs than an extrovert. That is why you often need more time to process or recharge in between.
But that does not stop you from having a great conversation with others because social skills (unlike characteristics) can be learned, improved, and mastered. In fact, introverts are better at deeper conversation topics.
Long story short, if you want to become a good conversationalist, you have come to the right place. I hope this guide can help you level up your social skills and dating skills and ultimately help you change your life.
What Makes Us feel” I do not know how to talk to people”?
There are 3 core reasons why we feel like we don’t know how to talk to people:
- Don’t know how to start a conversation without being awkward.
- Not sure how to expand the conversation after saying hi
- I do not have any exciting stories to tell.
You will learn all the most practical ways to start and expand a conversation in the following sections, while for this section, I only want to address the third point: “I do not have any interesting stories to tell”.
Most of the time, we feel like we have nothing to say because of fear of rejection. We have the false beliefs that our life stories are not attractive enough and no one will want to listen to us. So, we filter away all the potential good stories and ended up with nothing to share with the other person.
The only cure to overcome this challenge and become a more talkative person is to rethink the purpose of conversation.
The Purpose Of Conversation
Many people want to start a conversation because they want others to like them and make more friends. So, they often overthink how the conversation should be and try way too hard to impress others.
If you are thinking or doing the same, then perhaps, you should slow down and rethink the conversation’s purpose.
In my humble opinion, the real purpose of the conversation is all about exploration.
We explore more about the other person to see the positive and exciting side of him. At the same time, they serve as a mirror, and their opinions help us in self-exploration.
We explore the similarity and differences between us through the conversation and find out if we can resonate with each other. If yes, then that’s great, we can become friends. Otherwise, we should end the conversation and free both of us.
There’s really no point to force the conversation further if there’s no chemistry between two people.
If you follow my way of thinking, you can be the real you all the time when you talk to someone. You will never be afraid of sharing what is in your mind anymore because you want to find out if the person can click with you. That will open up a whole lot of topics which you can talk about now.
Read More: The Cure For “I Do Not Know What To Say”
How To Start A Conversation With Your Crush
When you talk to your crush, you should avoid creating unnecessary distance by being too polite or too formal. Instead, you should tease her, make fun of her, and laugh at each other sometimes. If you stay open and enjoy yourself being around her, she will most likely react in the same way.
Conversation Starters With your Crush:
- In your opinion, what makes a person attractive?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- If you can change 1 thing about yourself, what would you change?
- What did you think of me the first time we met?
- Have you heard of colour personality? What is your favourite colour?
- What do you like about yourself the most?
- If you could live in any city you want, where would you pick?
- Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?
- What is your zodiac sign? Do you know the unique characteristics of your zodiac sign?
- What is on your bucket list?
- What was the last movie that made you cry?
- Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
- Are you a dog person or a cat person?
- What is the most common compliment you get all the time?
- If you can only describe yourself in 3 words, what would it be?
2 Ways To Start A Conversation With Someone You Like
This section is for you if you want to learn how to get the name and the phone number of the person you like.
First, let’s look at how to get her name.
If this is the very first time you see her, then you can get her name by saying:
- “Hi, I know it’s random, but I think you are cute, and I wanted to introduce myself. My name is John. What’s your name?
- Hi, I believe we haven’t met before. I’m John. What’s your name?
If you have seen her a few times before, then you can ask for her name by saying:
- “Hi, I have seen you around but didn’t get the chance to know you. I’m John. What’s your name?”
If you are nervous about introducing yourself directly, you can always start a small talk first. After exchanging a few words with her, then you can start to introduce yourself.
Learn more about how to start a conversation with someone you like here.
Things To Talk About With Your Crush
Stop talking about the weather and start talking about something fun with your crush. Here are some interesting topics you can talk about with your crush today.
Travel – Traveling stories are packed with all the surprise and fun elements that make it enjoyable to talk about. You can ask her where she would like to travel next.
Food – Most girls have a low resistance to food, especially desserts. If she is interested in the topic, you can then plan a food trip together.
Passion/Hobby – Ask her what she likes to do over the weekend. Find out if both of you share a similar interest and expand the conversation on it.
Pets – Ask her if she is a dog person or cat person, and talk about the different personalities. If she has a pet, ask her to show you some picture of it.
Sports/Ourdoor activities – If you are into sports or outdoor activities, you can invite her and have some fun together.
Books – You can start talking about this topic by asking her favourite quote or book. Then, ask her to share with you what she likes so much.
Past – Get nostalgic and talk about some of the happy childhood memories. Ask her what she missed the most about the past.
Future – Get to know her more by asking her what her biggest goal and aspiration is.
If you want to get the complete list of 21 exciting topics to talk about with your crush and learn how to keep the conversation going, then check out my post here.
How To Start A Conversation With A Stranger
Like I have said, the conversation is all about exploration and finds out if the other person can click well with us. Below are some handy conversation starters for you to initiate a conversation with a stranger without being awkward and start making new friends.
There are 3 simple steps to talk to a stranger:
- Ask questions regarding a common topic – for example, you can ask a question about the same event you are attending, the mutual friend, the common interest, etc.
- Quick introduction – after getting a response to the question above, you quickly introduce yourself and share some information about yourself
- Expand the conversation – you can ask follow-up questions to explore more about what he has just mentioned. I will share more about how to expand the conversation in the later section of this guide.
Conversation starters with a stranger:
- Are you into… too?
- What do you think of this event?
- What do you do for a living?
- Where are you from?
- Do you know any good cafe nearby?
- How’s your day?
- Are you into any sports or outdoor activity?
- What do you usually like to do over the weekend?
- What brings you here?
- Anything exciting happens this week?
- What is your plan for the upcoming holidays?
Learn more about how to start a conversation with a stranger here.
How To Talk To Someone You Haven’t Talked To In A Long Time.
In this section, you will learn how to reignite a conversation with someone you haven’t been talking to for a while.
5 steps to reconnect with someone:
1) Reconnect on social media – you can comment on her post and preferably end it with an excellent question to invite conversation.
2) Quick Conversation – Once she replied to you, you can switch to direct messaging and ask her how’s her life lately.
3) Suggest to catch up – Before you end the conversation, you can suggest that both of you should catch up sometimes.
4) Get the latest contact info – Make sure you have her latest contact number and know which area she is staying now.
5) Ask her out – You can invite her out for a drink by saying, “I will be finishing my work near your place this Saturday. Wanna grab a coffee together at around 3pm?”
Alternatively, you can also text her directly and tell them that something that happens today reminds you of her. Then, you can suggest catching up sometimes.
Conversation starters to send someone you haven’t talked to in a while:
- Hi Judy! How’s life? Are you still working in Japan? (confirming something you know from the last conversation)
- Hey Judy. It’s been ages. How are you? I kinda miss ya you already.
- Just wanna drop by and say hi coz I know you miss me already =)
- Merry Christmas! (Or other greetings) It’s been ages. How are ya?
- I know it’s random, but I just thought of you recently. How’s life?
If you want to read more about getting in touch with someone you haven’t been talking to for a long time, check out my post here.
Things To Talk About With Friends
Chatting with friends is easy because you already know which topics will work. Nonetheless, if you are running out of things to say, here are 17 conversation starters to help you out.
Conversation Starters With friends:
- If you have a VIP ticket to go anywhere you want, where would you go?
- Which counties are on top of your travel list?
- Do you prefer to travel alone, or with friends or family?
- What kind of vacation is your favourite one? Sitting on the beach and relax, or shopping all day long?
- What is the happiest memory you have in school?
- What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- What kind of habit do you wish to have?
- At what age do you think people should settle down and have their own family?
- What is your source for happiness?
- Would you relocate to a place where you don’t know anyone there?
- How do you motivate yourself when you are feeling down?
- Do you like who you are right now?
- What are the top three things you are grateful for this week?
- What do you like to do when you are alone?
- If you can live in any place you want, where would you choose?
- What is your favourite book of all time?
- If you can change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Some of the best topics to talk about with friends are personalities, travel stories, and passion.
Get 99 interesting conversation starters and 29 best conversation topics to talk about with friends in the full post here.
How To Start A Conversation With A Woman
In this section, you will learn how to initiate a conversation with women naturally without using any cheesy pickup lines.
First, you can start a conversation with a woman by saying:
- “I know it’s random, but I think you charming, and I wanted to introduce myself. Hi, I’m John. What’s your name?”
- “Hi, I’ve seen you around but didn’t get the chance to know you. I’m John. What’s your name?”
Alternatively, you can start by commenting on the surrounding before you ask for her name.
For example, “the vibe in this cafe is awesome, isn’t it”, “the music is very relaxing, right?”. Then after she replies, you can say, “By the way, I’m John. What’s your name?”
In other words, you start a small talk first, then you switch to introduction quickly to get her name.
Second, you want to expand the conversation with her.
In that case, you should practice active listening and pay attention to the keywords in her replies.
For example, if she said, “I work as a programmer in Google.” Then, you can try to expand the conversation on the keywords “programmer” or “Google”.
You can either ask what she likes the most about her job, the most challenging thing about being a programmer, etc. You can also ask her why she chose to work at Google, what she likes the most about the company, etc.
You can expand the conversation indefinitely this way. I will share more about conversation expansion in the later section of this guide.
Conversation Starters With A Woman:
- Do you know any cafe nearby where I can grab a good coffee?
- Are you into reading? What kind of books do you like to read?
- What is your passion? How did you get started?
- What is your biggest goal this year?
- What songs are you listening to lately?
- Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?
- What do you most proud of yourself?
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl Online
Don’t just send a boring text and hoping for a reply. Instead, send her an interesting message that will make her laugh and reply. In this section, you will get some of the best conversation starters to talk to a girl online.
Conversation Starters To Send To Girls Online:
- Hi, How’s Your Day? Working On Anything Exciting? – You want to end it with a question and direct the conversation towards something exciting or interesting.
- I Like Your Profile. It Is Very Cool (Almost As Cool As Mine). – This will make her laugh and want to check out your social profile.
- Wow, Matcha, Video Games, And Game Of Thrones. Are You Sure You Didn’t Steal My Profile? – You can emphasize the common interest between you two. Then, you can expand the conversation on it.
Conversation Starters To Talk To A Girl Online:
- What’s your favourite way to waste time on the weekends?
- What good books have you read recently?
- What’s your idea of the perfect day?
- If you were asked to describe yourself in three words, what would it be?
- I will be nearby your area this Sat. Wanna grab a brunch together?
- The new Avengers movie is out this week. Wanna catch a movie this Sat?
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl On Facebook
If you do not know the girl yet, you will have to send her a friend request first, or else your message will not reach her primary inbox.
After she becomes your friend, you can view more information about her and start talking about her interest or related things.
What you can say to start a Facebook Conversation:
- “I like your healthy skin tone. Are you into any sports?”
- “How’s life? Working on anything exciting lately?”
The other ways to talk to her including giving her a genuine compliment, ask her about a common interest, and also answer her post questions.
I prefer to talk about passion first and learn more about her. If we happen to have a common interest, then I would invite her out and have some interaction.
For example, if she is into reading, then I would want to see her book collection. If she is into running, then I would invite her for a run on the weekend. I found that the best way to level up a relationship is to create some happy memories together.
Here’s my guide on how to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook. You can view more conversation examples inside and learn how to ask her out.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl On Instagram
There are 5 ways to start a conversation with a girl on Instagram.
The easiest way is to leave a comment on her story. If you are fast enough to be the first few to leave a comment, usually they will be still on Instagram and notice you. If you end it with a question, you might get a reply too.
The second way is to do a meme tag. When you found a funny meme related to you, you can tag her on Instagram. This can trigger a conversation too.
The alternative way is to do meme DM. Instead of tagging her, you can message her the meme directly. This only works well if you have talked to her before and you are already her friend.
The fourth way is to double-tap on her old photos and heart them. Only do it on the photos where she is alone in the picture. This might get her attention, and she might check your Instagram back. Do not overdo this. You just want her to notice you, and then you can ask her question on her latest post or DM her later.
Last but not least, you can just leave a clever comment on her post. Ask simple questions to which she can reply in 10 seconds. Then, you want to switch the conversation to direct messaging.
When you have a conversation over Instagram with a girl, you want to always start with a topic in which she is interested first.
For example, if she has a lot of skating pictures, you certainly want to talk about skating. Or, if she travels a lot, then you want to ask a question about travelling. This will increase her reply rate because that is something she is passionate about.
How To Start A Conversation On A Dating App
You can initiate a conversation by discussing the top 3 topics: travelling, food, and pets.
For example, suppose she is into travelling. In that case, you can ask her, “If you have a free first-class ticket to go anywhere you want, where would you go?” or “What is the funniest thing you have encountered while travelling?”
On the other hand, if she is into food, you can ask, “What is the weirdest food you have eaten but actually like it?”.
And, if she has a picture with a pet, you can send her a funny pet meme and say, “This is why I like dogs/cats.”
Alternatively, you can also talk about passion, books, movies, and music if you see her profile reveal such interests.
Conversation starters On A Dating App:
- You + your blue dress = new definition of perfection.
- What are the things you wanted to try at least once in your lifetime?
- Personality test: What is your favourite colour?
- If you can go back to the past and change a thing in life, what would you change?
- You seem interesting, like someone I would like to know. So, tell me, when is the last time you did something adventurous?
- What’s the most played song on your Spotify?
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
- I don’t mean to brag, but I happen to be very good at opening jars.
- I Love Your Profile 3000.
- I don’t know who’d be more excited about you swiping me right, my mom or me.
When you are on a dating app, try not to be too formal or over-polite, which will only create unnecessary distance. Talk to the girl as if she is already your friend and try to have some fun talking to her.
Also, don’t be afraid to polarize the conversation a little bit to find out if she has a good sense of humour.
Get more awesome conversation starters for dating apps here.
How To Start A Conversation On Tinder & Bumble
Here are some good conversation starters for Tinder and Bumble.
Some of them are original, while the others are the best opening lines I have collected over the years. Enjoy.
Conversation Starters on Tinder & Bumble:
- What are your Saturday priorities? Yoga, Netflix, or…
- If you can fly to anywhere you want, where would you go?
- What is the same compliment you get from your friend all the time?
- What is your favourite way to waste time? Just kidding. What is your passion?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in someone?
- What is your unique talent? Everyone has one.
- What compliment do you often get from your friend most of the time?
- What are the small things in life that make you happy?
- What are you most passionate about?
- What kind of music do you listen to?
- What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?
- If you can live anywhere in the world, where would you pick?
- What is the best word to describe you?
- What do people find surprising about you?
- What are the places you want to visit someday?
- Do you like Husky? How about a date?
- Tell me about some of the things listed on your bucket list.
- What do you miss the most from your past?
- What is the most memorable travelling experience you have?
- Do you prefer a more spontaneous trip or a well-planned one?
- I like your healthy skin tone. What outdoor activities are you into?
- You have excellent body posture. Are you into yoga?
- Saw your books right there. Reading anything interesting?
- Any chance you are into reading too?
- What is the cutest thing your pet did?
- You are cute. And, your hooman is pretty ok too.
- Are you into movies and popcorn?
- Wanna add some new songs to my playlist. Any good recommendations?
How to ask a girl on Tinder or Bumble Out
- “I heard there’s a good cafe in town. Wanna explore it together? It’s gonna be fun!”
- “I will be nearby your place this Sat after 6pm. Wanna grab a drink and chill for a while?”
How To Start A Conversation At The Gym
If you want to get to know the girl at the gym, you can start by giving a compliment first, then follow up with a quick introduction.
For example, these are some of the compliments you can give:
- The class today was tiring, but you did really well.
- I like the way you give your best in the class just now.
- The way you work out is full of determination. It’s amazing.
- Wow, your move is incredible. Have you been working out for long?
- I like the way you give in 100% in that pushup. It’s motivating.
Usually, the girl will give you a short response after the compliment, and you can quickly introduce yourself by saying, “By the way, my name is John. What’s your name?” This way, you will be able to get her name naturally.
Another way to talk to someone in the gym is by asking for help or recommendation. For example, you can ask, “How did you train your abs? Do you follow any specific routine? Can you recommend it to me?”.
Some of the best timing to approach her would be before or after the workout session, when she is filling her water bottle or returning the equipment to its place.
You can also approach her while she is doing stretching and ask if she minds you join her to learn how to do proper stretching.
The bottom line of starting a conversation at the gym is that you want to get to know more people around you, so you won’t be seen as trying too hard to hit on her only in that small social circle. You are talking to her because that’s just how you are. You make friends with everyone around you.
Read More: How To Talk To A Girl At The Gym
How To Start A Conversation At work
Some of the best places to start a conversation at work would be at the office pantry, car park, meeting room (after the meeting ends), and company event.
Top 10 ways to start a conversation at work:
- Ask for help – be sensible and ask for help when it is appropriate to do so.
- Offer to help – help her out if you see she obviously need a hand in something.
- Ask about the weekend – On Monday, you can ask her how was her last weekend, while on Friday, you can ask if she has any exciting plan for the upcoming weekend.
- Discuss movies, music and other entertainment – Only discuss this after work. Or you can ask her to share her music playlist, so you can enjoy it while working.
- Current news or trend – It is best to talk about news or trend related to your work or industry.
- Comment about the surrounding events – Anything from a new colleague, new office decor, to the upcoming presentation can be used as a conversation topic.
- Ask if she needs something – If you are going to the pantry, you can ask her if she wants to grab a coffee too.
- Ask for opinion – You can ask for an opinion before and after your presentation or a meeting.
- Give a compliment – Praise her if she changed her hairstyle or fashion taste, and it clearly suits her well. Of course, you can give her work-related compliment too.
- Introduce yourself directly – If she is from your department, just walk up to her and introduce yourself confidently.
Conversation starters at work:
- Can I ask for your honest opinion? What do you think I should improve on?
- Do you want to grab lunch together later?
- What gets you started in this job?
- Are you staying near to the office?
- Do you guys spend time together after work?
- What do you think about the presentation/meeting just now?
- How’s your day going?
- Where do you guys usually go for happy hours on Friday or Saturday night?
- What is the most important project you are dealing with now?
- Hi, I’m new here. My name is John.
- What do you love the most about your job?
- What project are you working on lately?
- How do you release stress?
- Do you believe in work-life balance?
If you want to learn more about how to initiate an enjoyable conversation with your colleague, check out my full post here.
How To Start A Conversation In College
If you want to make more friends in college, you will need to know how to do a quick introduction.
Whenever you sit close to someone or approach someone new, they will usually take a glimpse at you. That is the perfect timing to introduce yourself.
You can say “Hi, how are you? I’m John, by the way. What’s your name?” and get their name.
If they seem friendly, then you can go ahead and exchange a few more words with them.
Conversation starters for college students:
- I missed that. Can I see your notes?
- Have you finished your assignment?
- Want some snacks?
- What are you going to present later?
- What made you choose this college?
- What do you do when you are not studying?
- Are you into any kind of sports?
- What’s your favourite way to waste time?
- Are you ready for the upcoming exam?
- Where are you going for lunch later?
- How do you solve these questions?
- What is your favourite subject? Why do you love it?
- How will you spend your summer/holidays?
- What extracurricular activities are you thinking of joining?
- What inspired you to pursue your major?
If you want to learn how to make more friends in college, be sure to check out my complete guide here.
How To Talk To People At Parties
If you are attending the parties with your friend, the best way to start talking to new people is via the help of your friends.
Whenever he talked to his friend whom you have never met before, you should do a quick introduction and exchange a few words.
On the other hand, if you are attending the party alone, it is easier for you to start talking to people sitting at the corner and are not occupied. As soon as you sit down and she noticed you, you should talk to her right away.
Simple introductions like “Hey, what’s up? My name is John.” or “Hi, you came here alone? I’m John, by the way.” will be enough to start a conversation.
If you want to join a group conversation, then you can say, “”Hi, I’m John. Sean’s (host) friend. You guys look fun. Mind if I join you guys?”.
Most of the time, people are cool enough to have you. So, just relax, and you will blend in easily.
Conversation Starters At Parties:
- How do you know the host?
- How long do you know each other? (If they have friends around)
- How do you get to know each other?
- Where do you work?
- What do you do for a living?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- You look like an adventurous person. Do you like to travel?
- What’s your favourite way to waste time? I’m kidding. What is your passion?
- So, what do you like to do on the weekends? Are you into movies or any TV shows?
- You look like a sporty person. Are you into any sports or outdoor activities?
If you are an introvert and you want to have an enjoyable conversation at parties, check out my complete guide here.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl Over Text
There are a few ways you can start a conversation over text.
The easiest way would be to continue the last conversation. Just recall what she has mentioned in the last conversation, and you can ask questions to reignite the conversation again.
For example, in the last conversation, she mentioned that she likes superheroes movies. When the new movie Justice League is showing in the cinema, you can then ask her if she wants to catch the movie together.
An alternate way to chat with her over text is by sending her something funny. It can be a simple joke, a cute GIF, or a meme. Keep the conversation fun, and she will be very likely to text you back.
Last but not least, you can text her a ask her out directly. Offer to bring her out for an adventure, make her feel excited and anticipated to meet up with you.
You can invite her out by saying, “I wanna watch the (movie name) this weekend. Wanna go with me?” or “I heard there’s a new cafe near your place. Wanna explore it together tomorrow?”.
Text Messages To Start A Conversation:
- Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?
- How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
- Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
- Working on anything interesting lately?
- You are attractive, gorgeous, sexy, smart, charming and kind. You are becoming more like me every day.
- My dog wanted you to know what he misses you.
- Do you smile stupidly when you read my message? I know you do.
- I decided to text you. So, you can stop looking forward to my message and focus on your job.
- Let’s run away and go for an adventure this Saturday.
- My dog wanted you to know that he misses you.
- (What happened today) reminds me of you.
- I know it’s random, but I suddenly thought of you and your silly face.
Cute Ways to start a conversation
Here are some cute conversation starters you can use to initiate a conversation with your crush. Some of them are cheesy in a funny way that will make her laugh when she read your text.
Cute Conversation Starters:
- The only thing I want to change about you is your last name.
- Hi, how was heaven when you left it?
- Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I pass by again?
- Hey, you’re pretty, and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.
- If you were a fruit, you must be an apple. Coz you are the apple of my eye.
- I’ve been dying to see Star Trek Beyond (if you need a date idea).
- There’s a Pikachu at my house. You better come and catch it.
- You didn’t text first, but that’s ok. I’ll take your number as an apology.
- How about I start this conversation, and you can start the next one?
- Can I ask you an important question? Any ideas on how to get rid of a dead body?
- If I was a cat, can I spend my nine lives with you?
If you want the complete guide, check out this post.
Funny Questions To Ask A Girl
If you are tired of the boring small talk questions about weather and work, try using the funny questions below. Ask her interesting questions and have a fun conversation together.
- If reincarnation is real, what would you like to come back as?
- If you can change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
- Will you be able to survive in a zombie apocalypse?
- Would you rather be a genius, a billionaire, or a super good-looking model?
- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
- If you can reverse a decision in the past, what would you choose to change?
- If you can stop time, what would you do?
- If you can master any skill you want, what would you like to learn?
- If you suddenly turn into a man, what would you do?
- If the world will end tomorrow, what are the top 3 things you want to do right now?
- What secret talent do you have?
- What is the strangest dream you ever had?
- Would you rather have a short boyfriend or an ugly boyfriend?
- What is the silliest thing you had ever done when you were a kid?
- What’s the best thing about getting older?
- If you were the only human who survived the zombie apocalypse, what would you do?
- What is the funniest joke you know?
- What are the stupid things in life you regret doing it?
- Have you ever confessed your love to someone?
Get the full list of 111+ funny questions to ask a girl here.
Questions For Small Talk
Small talk is great for us to initiate a conversation.
However, suppose you want to level up the relationship with someone. In that case, you will have to talk about something more personal or opt for a more profound conversation topic.
The strategy is to use the small talk conversation starter below to kickstart a conversation. Then you want to quickly switch the topic into something deeper.
Small Talk Conversation Starters:
- It’s a lovely day, don’t you think so?
- It looks like it is going to rain.
- Are you into reading? I can use some recommendations.
- Any chance you are into gaming or anime?
- Have you tried any new restaurants lately?
- How do you know the people here?
- The food looks good. Have you tried anything yet?
- The way you speak. Are you the eldest in your family?
- How many kids do you have?
- How do you like to spend your time with your family?
- What are the funniest things your kids did?
- It’s a nice day, don’t you think so?
- Do you like rainy days?
- What kind of books do you like to read?
- What is your favourite quote?
- Have you seen any good movies lately?
- What is your biggest goal for this year?
- How do you like to spend your weekend?
- What is your passion?
- What makes you love it so much?
- Do you prefer an action-packed vacation or a relaxing one?
- What are the most beautiful places you have ever visited?
- Where are you initially from?
- What is your hometown famous for?
- What do you do?
- How long have you been in this field?
- What gets you started in this career?
I have written a guide on starting a small talk on different topics like travel, career, passion, goals, movies, books, etc. There are more than 99+ good questions for small talk in that guide. You can check it out here.
How To Start A Casual Conversation
We can use a casual conversation with our friends, family, and new people we meet on different occasions like parties, concerts, and other social gathering events.
When it comes to casual conversation, You can talk about almost anything because it’s usually centred around a generic topic.
There are 3 ways to initiate a casual conversation.
- Ask a generic question – “how’s the traffic?”, “where did you have your lunch?” etc.
- Make a statement about the surrounding – “I like the lighting here. It makes the atmosphere very relaxing”, “the background music is very soothing”, etc.
- Take a guess – “you are not from local, are you?”, “you are here for the convention too, right?”
Casual Talk Conversation Starters:
- Lovely day, isn’t it?
- Did you catch the news today? The covid cases have skyrocketed.
- Did you know that there’s a new cafe in town?
- What is your favourite restaurant nearby here?
- Looking forward to the weekend?
- How long have you been working in your current company?
- You are very humorous. I’m sure you have a lot of friends, am I right?
- This place is beautiful, huh?
- It’s nice to be outside on a sunny day like this, right?
- The flowers are beautiful at this time of year, aren’t they?
- I like your watch. It’s exquisite. Did you choose it by yourself?
- Which do you prefer? Samsung or Apple?
- How many countries have you travelled to so far?
Deep Conversation Topics
Small talk is great for initiating a conversation. Still, as I’ve mentioned, if you want to know a person really well, you will have to level up the conversation into something more profound.
The deeper conversation will help you connect with her at a deeper level and help you become more than just casual friends.
Some of the best deep conversation topics are about life, future, love, happiness, and personality.
I have listed some conversation starters for each topic below, so you can start discussing it with your crush, friends and family.
Deep Conversation Starters:
- Have you truly live to the max?
- What is your life philosophy?
- What’s holding you back from achieving what you really want in life?
- What is your life purpose?
- What are the top 3 things you are grateful for in life?
- What are your biggest goals in life?
- How do you define happiness?
- Are you happy now?
- What is your happiest moment in life?
- How do you define love?
- What is the biggest challenge in a relationship?
- Do you believe people from two different worlds and personalities can become soulmates?
- What do you value most in a relationship?
- What’s something I’ve done for you that you are grateful for?
- What kind of person do you want to become?
- If you can change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
- How would you describe your authentic self in 3 words?
- What is the sign that you are getting more mature?
- What kind of praises do you get all the time?
- Who is your role model? Why?
- Would you rather fail at something or never attempt it in the first place?
- How would you want to be remembered after you die?
- What would be the changes you would like to see in the world?
- What are the changes you would like to see in your life?
- Who inspires you the most?
- Is there any life event that has forever changed how you think?
- Would you rather have a lot of friends or just a few close friends who know you really well?
- If today is the last day we meet, what would you want to tell me?
Deep conversation not only allows you to exchange opinions and thoughts, but it also allows you to be empathetic and connect with the other person at the emotional level.
If you want to learn how to start a deep conversation, check out my full guide here.
How To Keep A Conversation Going
I understand that if we do not know much about a person, it can be challenging for us to expand the conversation. And, if the conversation goes stalling, things can get quite awkward.
In this section, I want to share how to keep the conversation going effortlessly, even if you are talking to a stranger.
First, you need to build a list of default topic list.
Many people do not have a default topic list. So, they often go blank when they need to keep the conversation going and resort to boring topics like talking about the weather, traffic, etc.
If you have your own interesting default topic list, you will have more clarity. You can direct the conversation towards topics that you are more familiar with and exciting. So, list down all the things you are interested in.
For example, in my case, I like reading books, listening to music, workout, play the guitar, sing karaoke, watch anime, etc.
When I start a conversation with someone, and I do not know what to say, I will ask them if they have the same interest.
If not, I will ask them what is their passion and see I can relate to it.
When you have your own default list, you will naturally become more talkative and creative about what to say and ask because you are genuinely interested in the topic yourself.
Next, you need to learn how to expand the conversation by using the Keyword Expansion Method.
The Keyword Expansion Method
It is straightforward to apply this technique. All you need to do is catch the keywords she mentioned and then ask a follow-up question about the keyword.
Conversation Expansion Examples:
You: So, what is your favourite way to waste time? I’m just kidding. What is your passion?
She: I like reading and travelling.
(Keywords to expand the conversation: reading & travelling)
You: Wow, I’m into reading too. What kind of books do you read?
She: Mostly thriller and also some self-development books.
(Keywords to expand the conversation: thriller & self-development books)
You: I like to read self-development books too. In fact, I’m reading a book called The Power Of Habit, and I think it is exciting to learn how we can change our habits with some simple strategies.
She: What are the strategies it mentioned?
(Keywords to expand the conversation: strategies)
You: (Share about the strategies that you learned from the book…)
As you can see from the conversation examples above, I can build the conversation blocks according to her replies’ keywords.
Then, at the end of the examples, she starts throwing questions back. That is the indicator that she is interested in that topic.
After I shared the strategies I learned from the book, I can choose to continue the conversation topic about habits or self-improvement. I might also ask her what her all-time favourite self-development book is.
Just a gentle reminder for you here. When you use this Keyword Expansion Method, you want to stop asking questions and share some interesting information about yourself or the topic too.
This will allow her to build up the conversation on her side based on what you have said and avoid turning the supposedly enjoyable conversation into an interrogation.
If you master this method alone, you will have a more extended conversation with anybody next time.
Magic Questions That Make Her Speaks Even More:
- Interesting! Tell me more!
- Are you serious? Why…?
- Do you dare to…?
- Really? I thought…?
- What is your favourite…?
- Since when you realized…?
- What happened after…?
If you want to learn in detail about keeping the conversation going effortlessly, be sure to check out my post below.
Read more: 7 Best Ways To Keep A Conversation Going
First Date Conversation Starters
Not sure what to say during your first date? No worries. I have compiled some of the best first-date conversation starters for you here.
Conversation Starters For First Date:
- If I were to invite you to watch an old movie, what would you pick?
- On average, how long does it take before you accept someone as your life partner?
- In your opinion, what is the most attractive quality a person can have?
- If you can change one thing in your past, what will you change?
- What habit would you like to pick up?
- What is the most random thing you have done?
- What kind of person would you like to date?
- What was the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
- What’s the best and worst thing about getting older?
- What personality trait do you value most?
- What outdoor activity would you like to give a try?
- What topic could you spend hours talking about?
- Are you into a horror movie?
- What values in a person are the most important to you?
- Which part of you do you think is the most attractive?
- What is your new year’s resolution?
- If you cannot access the internet for 3 days, how do you want to spend your time?
- What kind of person are you looking for?
- What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?
- If you can ask me anything about me and I will only tell you the truth, what would be your question?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- What is your zodiac sign (then talk about personality)
- Anything exciting happens today?
- Do you have any passion project?
- Do you have any cool hidden talents?
One of my favourite conversation topics for the first date is the zodiac sign. I can easily transition it into the personality topic.
I realized that girls like to explore what is their strengths and uniqueness. So, it is an easy topic to expand on since they are highly interested in it already. Plus, it is a more profound conversation topic where you can learn more about her.
If you want to get more first date conversation starters and see how I talk about zodiac sign in my complete guide.
7 Ways To Start A Conversation
#1 Comment on something pleasant
- They are so popular, and the line is always so long.
- The meeting was a productive one. We got so much done in 1 hour.
- I like the background music. It reminds me of Kiss the Rain by Yiruma.
- The food here is very delicious. I would love to come again.
- I love the coffee smell in this cafe.
- The lightning is very relaxing and romantic.
- I like your insights on this. It’s remarkable.
- Your presentation just now was epic.
- This dress looks good on you.
#3 Ask for an opinion
- What do you think of the project?
- Do you know any good cafe nearby for coffee?
- Is there any good movies showing lately?
#4 Offer help
- Do you wanna grab something?
- Do you need a hand?
#5 Ask for information/help
- Do you know where I can get the file?
- Do you know how long the meeting usually last?
- Do you know when the event ends?
#6 Quick introduction
- Hi, I’m new here. I’m John.
- I believe we haven’t met before. I’m John.
#7 Ask About Them
- How’s your day? Anything exciting going on today?
- Where are you from?
- How long have you been working here?
- What do you do for a living?
How To End A Conversation With A Girl
Just give her a valid reason and tell her you to need to go before you end the conversation.
Here’s examples to end a conversation:
- “I like you. You are hilarious, but I have to go because My friends are waiting for me. Catch up with you again later.”
- “It’s fun talking to you, but I still have an assignment to finish. Maybe we can grab a drink together this weekend and continue the conversation?”
If you want to end the conversation over text:
- My battery is running low. Catch up with you again later.
- I need to go. You can start missing me 😛
- Good night. I will miss your silly face.
- I need to rest. See you and your annoying face tomorrow.
Whenever you feel that the conversation’s peak is over and it started to fade, you should take the initiative to end the conversation before it gets too dull. Do not drag the conversation unnecessarily and force her to end the conversation on her side.
Always keep the conversation enjoyable, so she will be eager to talk to you again next time.
How To Overcome Fear When You Start A Conversation
We feel nervous when we want to talk to someone new because we never gonna know how she will react.
Furthermore, we are not so sure about how the others around us will look at us. Will we look desperate or trying too hard to know somebody?
Well, this exactly why we have fears when we try to get to know someone new.
In other words, we have put ourselves under the spotlight, and we feel that the whole world is paying attention to us now. If we fail the conversation or say something stupid, the whole world will laugh at us.
I know it’s overexaggerating to put it this way, but this is precisely what most of us feel when trying to strike a conversation.
The best cure for this fear of starting a conversation would be moving the spotlight from yourself to the other person you are speaking to.
This means that you no longer focus too much on yourself, what to say next, or how well you perform. Instead, you just have to be genuinely interested in the person you are talking to. Treat it as if she is the one under the spotlight, and you are just interviewing her.
Next, all you need to do is ask questions that sound interesting to you and have her do the talking. The world would be watching how she react instead of focusing on you now.
This will lift away all the attention and pressure from you, and you can start talking without fear again.
It’s totally normal to get to know new people in life. That’s what we do, and that’s how we get friends.
If you initiate the talk in a friendly manner, but that person is being impolite, you are not the problem. Maybe he is just having a bad day, or that is just how he is. In that case, you should just leave and feel lucky that you didn’t have to invest too much time in him.
The world is full of other friendly people who is eager to talk to you and become your friends. Find them, build meaningful connection and get yourself surrounded by all these fantastic people.
How To Talk To A Girl And Make Her Obsess About You
This section is for those who want to go beyond having a conversation with a girl and make her obsess over you.
Before you move on, I just want to know if there’s a proven tactic and words which can help you to level up the intimacy level with the girl you like, would you like to learn it?
If you can master all the precision tactics and know when to ask her out, go for the kiss, and when to escalate to full out sex, would that be valuable for you?
If yes, then you should definitely check this out, which I highly recommend.
Inside, you can learn pretty much everything you need to know to be successful in a relationship.
Be it from…
- How to approach a girl and make her instantly interested in you the moment you meet her.
- The body language you need to know to make women subconsciously connected and desire you.
- How to have a sexual conversation with women the right way and trigger her urges.
Yes, I admit this stuff can be dangerous or manipulative depends on how you use it. But, at least, you will no longer miss the mark again once you meet the girl you like in the future.
You will know how to approach and interact with her the right way and know how to escalate to a romantic relationship faster than ever.
With this knowledge and skills, you can finally escape from trapping in the friend zone. So, I definitely recommend you to check it out.
My personal story:
If you are one of the good guys out there who just are frustrated not being able to attract someone you love, I just want you to know that I can totally feel you, and I have endured the same thing before.
Well, I’m a decent-looking guy. I do not smoke or drink, and I always treat girls with respect. I love my job and friends, have some healthy hobbies, and also I’m truly passionate about life.
My life seems perfect except for one thing: I find it really difficult to win over someone’s heart and get a girlfriend.
Quite some time ago, I had a crush. She has the most lovely smile I’ve ever seen, cute, adorable, and she is just perfect in every angle.
I used to ask her out quite a few times, just two of us, enjoying the evening together. I thought, at that rate, I will be able to confess my feelings for her soon and make her my girl.
I was really excited and can’t wait for that day to come, but the reality does not always go the way I planned. I hate to say this, but the third time I see her, she told me that she just got a boyfriend recently, and it really breaks my heart.
What is even sadder is that I found out later she has never treated me more than a friend before. In other words, I was in the friend zone all the while, and I was so silly, never even to realize it.
I thought that maybe if I can perform better and know how to express myself fully, I might stand a chance that time.
Well, I do not blame her for choosing someone else over me. I just wish that if I happen to meet another girl I cherish that much, I will never ever miss the mark once again.
After some reflection, I found the core reason I was so bad in the relationship thing was that I have been dodging relationship books all these while (even though I’m a reader), thinking they are just a waste of time.
I used to believe that I can handle it all by just using my common sense. And, yes, I was terribly wrong, and the ignorance has cost me greatly.
The more I learn, the more I realized I have so many limiting beliefs about relationship, and my way of treating a potential romantic partner is faulty.
Being over-polite creates unnecessary distance; showing too much interest early throws away my positioning; asking too many questions turns the conversation into an interrogation, etc.
I could not have realized all these problems using my common sense because common sense is very subjective. What I thought was the right way, after reading and learning, I realized it could be wrong, and there are many blind spots which I can’t possibly find out myself.
We definitely need an external reference as a mirror to grow faster.
Now, I no longer have problems striking an enjoyable conversation with a stranger. I make friends easily wherever I go. People tend to open up to me more, and I can even feel the whole aura when I’m talking has changed positively.
Overall, I feel more powerful, confident and charismatic in a way that I could only imagine in the past.
They say knowledge is power, and I couldn’t agree more. If you equipped yourself with the right social or dating skills, you could become more influential in life, connect better with others and know how to escalate into a romantic relationship faster.
In other words, you won’t be completely passive anymore. You know how to talk, text, and interact with the girl you like and make her truly yours when finally found her.
If you think you are one of the nice guys who deserve respect and love, I recommend you getting The Obsession Method. Trust me, I have walked the path. I know it will be one of the best investment you have ever made.
Once again, click the button below and check out the official page.