Welcome to my guide on how to start a conversation with a woman.
Talking to a woman is slightly different from talking to a girl because they are more mature and they are usually more experience in dealing with guys.
This is why cheesy pickup lines and lack of confidence can easily expose your neediness and turn them off.
In this guide, you will discover:
1) how to initiate a conversation with a woman naturally.
2) how to expand the conversation with a woman.
3) how to ask a woman out.
How To Start A Conversation With A Woman
There are many ways you can start a conversation with a beautiful lady you meet in real life. For example, you can directly introduce yourself, use the surroundings as the conversation topic, give her a compliment, or start with a common topic between you two.
I will show you how these different approaches work below.
Method#1: Direct Introduction
When you talk to women, it’s better to lead into an introduction quickly because that shows that you are a highly confident person. You do not need to beat around the bush too much when you want to get to know someone.
Well, there are 4 main ways to introduce yourself depending on what the situation is.
If you are new to the place:
“Hi. I’m new here. My name is John. What’s yours?”
Use this if you have just joined a new community, gym, social group as a brand new member.
If you are not new to the place and you have seen her before:
“Hi, I’ve seen you around but didn’t get the chance to know you. I’m John, by the way. What’s your name?”
Use this if you have seen her quite a few times, but you didn’t talk to each other before.
If you are not new to the place, but you have not seen her before:
“Hi, I’ve been here for quite some time, but I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m John. What’s your name?”
“Hi, are you new here? I’m John, by the way. What’s your name?”
If you want to approach a woman who is not in your social circle:
“Hi, I know this is random, but I think you are cute/charming/adorable. My name is John. What’s your name?”
“Hi, how’s your day? (wait for her to reply and then agree with whatever she says) My name is John, by the way. What’s your name?”
Use this if you meet the woman on the street, bus stop, cafe, or some random event.
Method#2: Use The Surrounding To Start A Conversation
You can comment on things around you and then ask what she thinks about it.
The things you can comment on include the background music, the temperature, the comfortability, the decorations, the vibe, or any event around you.
Conversation example:
- The sculpture is remarkable, isn’t it? (At an art exhibition)
- It’s tiring but fun, right? (At the gym class)
- It’s relaxing to listen to the raindrops, don’t you think so? (On a rainy day)
Remember to always end the sentence with questions. This is to invite her into a conversation.
And, after she gives you a reply, you should quickly lead to an introduction of yourself. Find the right introduction approach from the previous section if you haven’t read it yet.
Method#3: Use A Common Topic
First, ask yourself what could be the common topic between you two?
Do both of you work in the same industry, attending the same event, having a similar hobby, enjoying a cup of coffee in the same cafe?
Then, you can ask her about it to see if you have guessed it correctly?
Conversation Example:
- Are you running an online business too? (At a digital marketing seminar)
- How long have you been into photography? (At a photography club)
- Are you a coffee person too? (At a cafe)
Do not worry if you guessed it wrong because she will correct you, and you can then expand the conversation from there.
No matter what, you will still be able to continue the conversation with her.
Method#4: What You Notice On Her
You can ask her questions regarding what’s unique about her or what she is doing. For example, what is she drinking, reading, listening, wearing, etc?
Conversation examples:
- Your dog is cute. Can I pet him? (She is walking her dog)
- Are you a marathon runner? (She is wearing a marathon T-shirt)
- Reading anything interesting? (She is holding a book)
Method#5: Compliment The Right Way
If possible, you want to compliment her on her personality, attitude, or intelligence.
- I like your positive energy. You must have a lot of friends. (At the networking event)
- I like how you give in all you have. It’s inspiring. (At the gym)
- I like your unique perspective on this. (After she expresses her insights)
- Your work lately has been impressive. (At work)
- You are very talented. (She sings well or she has some unique talent)
If you do not know her well enough to compliment her personality, then you can compliment her on her vibe, appearance.
- I like your charisma.
- I like your smile.
- You radiate so much confidence. I like that.
- You have a beautiful voice.
- I like your style. Very elegant.
Tips: Just a casual and straightforward way of complimenting is sufficient. Do not go overboard with it. And, AVOID complimenting on her body part directly, for example, nice ass, nice boobs.
How To Expand The Conversation
The best way to expand a conversation is to talk about the common topic between you two first.
For example, if both of you meet in the gym, then the common topic should be about the workout. If both of you met in a library or a bookstore, then the common topic would be books.
If you barely know a person, you might need to switch the topic 2-3 times until you finally find one that she can resonate with. I will share some hot topics which you can go after in the next section.
After you found a common topic that she is also interested in, all you need to do next is to expand it. Share some information about yourself regarding the topic, and then ask her if she has experienced the same thing or holds the same opinion.
When she is interested in the topic, she will contribute a lot to the conversation on her side because she is excited about it. This is why I ask you to pinpoint the right topic first.
Choosing the right topic before you expand it is vital to keep the conversation interesting and engaging. It can make a whole lot of difference.
Good Topics To Talk About With Women
1) Goals/Vision/Dream
You can ask her what is her biggest goal this year.
Everyone gets excited when they talk about what they want to achieve or want to have in life. You will be able to learn a lot about her, and that helps you to expand the conversation further.
2) Passion/ Talent
Ask her what she likes to do over the weekend, then find out her hobby or if she has any exceptional talent. For example, if she likes to draw, you can praise her and expand the conversation on drawings.
It is her passion, so she won’t be running out of things to share with you when talking about it. You can have a fantastic conversation with her by just becoming a good listener.
3) Personality
You could give her a what-if question and then ask her what she would do in that situation if it was her. For example, if you know the truth will hurt someone, will you still choose to tell the truth, or will you tell a white lie?
Girls and women like to talk about personality topics. After all, it’s exciting to imagine a different experience and learn more about yourself at the same time, isn’t it?
4) Movies/ Music
Everyone watches movies or listens to music nowadays with easy access to the internet.
You can ask her what is her favorite movies/music genre, or what are the excellent movies/music she enjoyed lately?
Movies and music topics are easy to talk about, so you can switch to this topic whenever you are running out of things to say.
5) Books
You can ask her what her favorite book, quote, or the author is. Then, after she tells you her favorite book, you want to ask her why does she love it so much.
You can continue to ask her what she learned from it or expand the conversation by talking about the book’s topic.
For example, if she says her favorite book is about developing a new habit, you can continue the conversation around the topic of “habit.” Ask her what kind of habit she would love to have, and why she needs to develop that habit, etc.
6) Shared Memories
If you have been to similar places or have experienced similar things in life, it can be an excellent topic. For example, if she is an introvert and finds it hard to socialize with other people, and you feel the same, you can talk about the shared experience and life stories related to it.
Alternatively, you can talk about college life or the kind of simple happiness you have when you are a kid. She probably can resonate with you too and share how simple her joy is when she was a kid.
You can also talk about how both of you met the first time, your impression of that time, the time when both of you did some fun things together, etc.
Everything which both of you have done together can be an excellent nostalgic topic to talk about.
Conversation Starters
Here are 32 great conversation starters to start talking to women.
- Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend?
- What do you think is happiness?
- What is your favorite quote?
- Who is your all-time favorite singer?
- What songs are you listening to lately?
- What is your favorite movie genre? Why?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- If you like someone, would you be brave enough to confess, or would you wait for an apparent hint?
- What is your biggest goal this year?
- What kind of person do you wish to become?
- Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
- Have you done any personality tests before? What does it say about your personality?
- Do you remember how we met for the first time?
- Do you know any cafe nearby where I can grab a good coffee?
- Are you a cat person or a dog person? Do you know they have a different personality?
- What is your favorite color? Have you heard about color personality?
- Are you into reading? What kind of books do you like to read?
- What kind of strengths would you like to have? Why is that?
- What kind of person do you think is attractive?
- What is your happiest childhood memory?
- What is your passion? How did you get started?
- Are you into any indoor or outdoor sports?
- What is the most important thing do you seek in a relationship?
- Are you a spontaneous person, or are you more of a planner?
- What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
- Have you been to any exciting places before?
- If you have a VIP flight ticket to go anywhere you want, where would you pick?
- What makes you happy in life?
- What do you most proud of yourself?
- Do you think people with different personalities can be life partners?
- Who is your role model in life?
- How many siblings do you have? Who is the closest to you?
Extra Tips On How To Talk To Women
1) Do not keep asking questions
A lot of guys made the mistake of asking too many questions in a row. Remember, this is a casual conversation, not an interrogation!
As much as you want to learn more about her, you need to share some information and life stories on your part too. This will make it easier for her to contribute to the conversation based on what you have just said.
2) Do not give too much compliment
It is okay to give a genuine compliment when she impressed you. But, as I said, try to compliment her on her personality, attitude rather than her appearance.
If you keep saying things like “oh, you are so beautiful, you are so attractive,” not only do you create unnecessary distance, but you also throw away your positioning.
This creates an unbalance of power or attractiveness in the relationship right from the beginning, and you want to avoid that at all costs.
3) Exert confidence while talking
You should adjust your body language and tonality when you are talking to a woman to project your confidence level. Use open gestures to invite conversation, slow down and deepen your voice while talking can give you more power.
People who are confident about themselves and have their own independent opinions are deemed to be more attractive.
So, you do not need to agree with everything she said. Just remain open to new opinions while having your own insights when talking. This will keeps you away from being a beta male.
The Bottom Line On How To Talk To A Woman
When you have a conversation with a beautiful woman, your goal should be more about exploration.
You want to find out if she is the right person for you. Does she has the right attitude, right personality, and do you resonate with her? If yes, then she has the potential to become your friend.
Otherwise, it would be a waste of time to invest in someone who is not compatible with you. In that case, I would suggest you find another woman who can click better with you, and you enjoy her company as much as she enjoys being with you.
We can’t make everyone like us, but we can focus on attracting people who resonate with us into our life.