Welcome to my guide on how to start a conversation with a girl online.
You can use this guide to start a conversation with a girl on online dating websites, dating apps, or social media.
I will share some of my favorite conversation starters and give you the conversation examples. So, you can quickly adapt them and use them in real life.
Please note that my style is more direct and straightforward than others, and I will explain why below.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl Online
Conversation Starter #1: Hi, how’s your day? Working on anything exciting?
This opening line works much better than a simple “Hi” or “How are you?”
Let’s look at the bad example and good example below to see how asking a slightly different question can have a different result.
Bad example:
- Guy: How are you? (Boring question)
- Girl: Fine. How are you? (Boring reply)
Analysis: In the conversation above, you can see that by asking “how are you,” you are not leading the discussion anywhere. After the girl replies to you, then you will back to square one. You still know nothing about the girl, and the rapport is not there either.
Good example:
- You: Hi, how’s your day? Working on anything exciting? (Directing the topic towards exciting things)
- Girl: Yeah, I’ve been learning ice-skating. It’s fun. (She builds up the conversation by sharing what’s interesting in life)
- You: I like ice-skating too even though I’m not that good at it. What inspires you to get started? (Expand the conversation based on the exciting topic she threw out)
- Girl: My friend challenged me to do something I have always wanted to do last week, and I said ice-skating. So, we decided to try, and I totally fall in love with it now.
- You: It must be super exciting when you were trying it out for the first time. I remember I fell a lot of times during my first time. Did you fall too? I hope you didn’t break my record.
- Girl: hahaha! Yeah, I fell multiple times, and I didn’t know how to get up by myself. I was lucky. My friend was nearby all the time to help me.
- You: So, what’s your favorite part about ice-skating. What makes you love it so much since the first try? (Continue to expand the conversation around exciting things – what makes her love it so much)
Conversation continues…
Analysis: In the conversation above, you can see that I started the conversation by asking what’s exciting or interesting in her life lately. This will directly open up an exciting conversation, and you can learn more about her.
Then, in the following conversation, you can see that I keep expanding the discussion around the same topic. If the topic is already proven, there’s no point for me to jump around different topics.
In addition to that, you can see that I often use interesting follow-up questions to make her more excited, like “what get you started,” “what makes you love it so much,” etc. Asking good questions that lead to the excitement will make her want to talk to you more.
Short conclusion:
Do not worry if you are not that good at conversation now. Just use the conversation starter and let her share with you what’s interesting to her in life. Then, just go with the flow, ask questions around the topic she gave, and you will do fine.
Since it is a topic she is interested in, she will tend to contribute more to the conversation online, which will lift some pressure off her shoulder.
Conversation Starter #2: I like your profile. It is very cool (almost as cool as mine).
This conversation starter works excellent with girls who have a good sense of humor. It will prompt them to check out your profile to see how cool it is.
Then, they might tease you back and say your profile is not as cool as theirs. The whole interaction will be fun and easy-going, just like how you are talking to your existing friends.
You can challenge her and ask her the most incredible thing she has ever done if you want. Then, you can share one of the coolest and funniest things you have ever done with her. Have a quick laugh together. This will build up the rapport very fast.
Then, at the end of the conversation, you can say, “Congratulations! You have proven yourself. You are funny enough to be my friend. You are allowed to meet me for a cup of coffee.”
She will probably tease you and say she is not interested to see you, but still, it will make her giggle. Don’t worry. As long as you are fun to talk to, she will accept your future invitation.
Conversation Starter #3: Wow, matcha, video games, and Game of Thrones. Are you sure you didn’t steal my profile?
Find out what’s the similarities between both of you and accuse her of stealing your profile.
First, she will find it funny you put it that way, and second, she will notice there’s a lot of similarities between you two. It will make her curious about you and want to check out your profile in return.
When both of you have some similarities, it is straightforward to keep the conversation going. You just need to ask interesting questions related to the similarities.
For example, if she likes video games, you can ask her what kind of video games she likes to play. If she likes Game of Thrones, you can ask her if she can become one character. Who will she pick?
Remember to share some info about yourself regarding the topic, so she will build up the conversation on her side based on what you have said.
You can even send her a quiz to test her knowledge related to the topic. If she fails it, then you can punish her and ask her to buy you a coffee. On the other hand, if she passes, you can reward her by allowing her to have a cup of coffee with you.
This way, the conversation will become super fun, and you get to invite her out too.
Conversation Starters #4: I saw you are into (topic) + (ask a question about that topic)
To use these conversation starters, you will have to check out her profile first and decide which topic around her resonates the most with you.
For example, if she is a dog person and has a dog, you can ask her questions about the topic: dogs or pets. You can ask what the dog’s name is, how long she has the dog, the silliest thing the dog did, etc.
If you see she is wearing a fitness outfit, you can ask her questions about workouts or sports. For example, you can say, “I like your body posture. Have you been working out for long?” Or, “I like your healthy skin tone. Are you into any sports?”
Please note that I’m doing a subtle compliment here. This will make her feel appreciated and happy to talk to you.
When you use these conversation starters, my suggestion is to choose the topic which resonates the most with you or impress you the most.
If you are interested in the topic, you will be naturally better at asking good questions about it and making the whole conversation more lively.
Conversation Starters:
The following conversation starters are great for you if you want to start a new conversation with the girl you previously talked to.
- What’s your favorite way to waste time on the weekends?
- What good books have you read recently?
- What’s your idea of the perfect day?
- If you were asked to describe yourself in three words, what would it be?
- How was your day?
- Wanna add some songs to my new playlist. Any recommendation?
- Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
- What’s your type?
How To Ask A Girl You Met Online Out
If you have used the conversation starters I gave you above, and the conversation goes well, and she seems to like to talk to you, you can try to ask her out.
There are 2 ways to do it, the direct and indirect way.
The Direct Way To Ask Her Out
Just send her a message and ask her, “Want to go on an adventure?” or “What would you say if I asked you out?”
If you are confident enough, you can say, “I would like to meet up in person. Let’s grab a brunch together this Sat?”
Using the direct way, you portray your high confidence level, which can be an attractive trait to many girls.
Even if they are not ready yet and reject you, they will still be impressed by your courage and confidence. You just need to be more patient and ask her out again after some time.
The Indirect Way To Ask Her Out
You will have to learn some info about her to use this method. You either need to know which area she is staying in or what she is interested in.
If you know which area she is staying in, you can say something like, “I will be nearby your area this Sat. Wanna grab a brunch together?”
On the other hand, if you know she is into movies, then you can say, “The new Avengers movie is out this week. Wanna catch a movie this Sat?”
When you ask a girl out for the first time, try to keep the date simple. For example, just grab a drink, or a brunch will do.
Please do not arrange a heavy and grand romantic dinner. It might create unnecessary pressure and cost for both of you.
Only after you met her once and you are sure she is the kind you resonate with, then can you suggest going for a bigger date.
How To End A Conversation With A Girl Online
A lot of guys are making the mistake of trying to drag the conversation for too long.
They are afraid that they might not have the second chance to get the girl’s attention again. They want to move forward as much as they can since they have the opportunity now.
However, if you are not good at conversation, dragging the conversation is considered a risky move.
First, you will run out of things to say soon, and second, it is hard to maintain the conversation mood at the peak for too long. And, the more you drag the conversation unnecessarily, the more boring the conversation will get.
If the girl can’t stand it anymore and take the first move to end the conversation, it is tough for you to have another good conversation with her again. This is because you have just been labeled as a “boring guy,” and no one wants to talk to a boring person.
Thus, if you are still not that good at conversation yet, you should take the initiative to end the conversation when you feel that the conversation’s peak is over.
Ending the conversation when the mood is high can leave a good impression on her.
Since it’s fun talking to you, she obviously will be more willing to meet you in person. This makes it so much easier for you to ask her out for a drink in the future.
Ending Conversation Examples:
The easiest way to end the conversation is just to say, “It’s fun talking to ya, but I need to (give a reason). Catch up with ya again later”.
Or, “I have to go, but it’s fun talking to you. Maybe we can grab a drink together sometime?”
If you do not set a date and time, the girl will probably say yes since she has no pressure to decide on the spot. Then, after a few days, you can ask her if she wants to explore a new cafe in town with you and it is going to be fun.
The girl will probably say yes because she enjoys talking to you, girls have lower resistance to good food, and exploration sounds like a lot of fun there.
What If The Girl Does Not Respond To Your Message
There are a few ways to deal with this.
#1 Ignore the first message
First, you can ignore the fact that she did not respond to your earlier message.
She could be working on something or driving when she received your previous message, and she forgot to reply to you later. You can shoot her another message as if the first message does not exist and see her response.
If she missed the first message, most of the time, she will say sorry that she forgot to reply and continue the conversation with you. However, if she does not respond to your second message, my suggestion is to let it go. Accept the fact that she is not attracted to you at the moment and keep her contact aside.
You should then focus on self-improvement, make yourself a better and more attractive person, and create a new connection with other girls who can resonate better with you.
Build up your positioning and values, and you can try to talk to her again after some time if you still want her. Maybe, by that time, you might have attracted another girl who can click better with you.
Who knows? So, do not be too discouraged if a girl does not reply to your message.
#2 Send her meme
You want to let her know that you are still looking forward to chatting with her, but you do not want to exert too much pressure on her.
Thus, you can send her a funny meme to let her know that you are still waiting for a reply. She might laugh, thinks that you are funny, and then decided to reply to you.
However, never ever ask her, “is she too busy” or “why she is not replying to your message” because that might give her too much pressure.
You never want to appear as needy and make her feel stress to receive your message, do you? So, just send a funny meme will do, don’t go overboard.
If she still does not reply, then, as usual, it’s time to move on. You are awesome. You just need to find someone else who can see your awesomeness.
#3 Compliment
Try to compliment her on her personality, attitude, effort, achievement, new haircut, and smile, but not her ass or body shape.
Most of the time, when girls receive a compliment, they will feel pleased and appreciated, and they will be more likely to reply to you.
If she doesn’t, then as usual, just move on. It’s not the end of the world.
The Bottom Line Of How To Start A Conversation With A Girl Online
You can use the top conversation starters, which I have shared above. I have also shared how you can expand the conversation after you started it.
The key to having a fun and enjoyable conversation with the girl you meet online is to talk to her like how you usually talk to your friend. You can make fun of her, tease her, tell her a secret, silly jokes, and not afraid of how she will judge you.
When you are relaxed and fun, she will probably respond in the same way. The conversation will then become interesting.
This will increase the success rate massively when you try to ask her out in the future.