Welcome to my guide on how to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook.
You will discover different ways to initiate a conversation with the girl you like on Facebook without being seen as desperate or creepy.
In addition, I will show you how to expand the conversation with her naturally.
Last but not least, I will share with you the best way to ask her out
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl On Facebook
You can use different approaches to start talking to the girl you met on Facebook.
It depends on the current situation which you are in.
Scenario A: If You Do Not Know Her Yet
This approach is for you if you just met her on Facebook, are interested in her, and want to know her.
The first step you can do is to send her a friend request.
Only after she becomes your friend will your message reach her inbox, and you can view more information about her. Otherwise, if you shoot her a message before she adds you as a friend, your message will go into her filtered inbox, and she will never see it.
Since having her add you as a friend is a prerequisite to talking to her, you want to put in the effort to make her approve your friend request.
You can invest time and effort to build an attractive Facebook profile.
Add photos, videos, and posts that make you look attractive. For example, posts about you trying out new things, working out, playing with kids or pets, participating in sports, helping out the community, and hanging out with friends.
These posts portray that you are a person who knows how to enjoy life, you’re a kind person, and you are good at socializing. This will make her want to learn more about you because your life looks amazing, and you are more attractive than many other boring guys.
How to initiate a conversation after being added as a friend:
After she says you as a friend, you give her a quick introduction. “Hi, I’m John. Saw your profile on Facebook. You seem interesting, so I thought of adding you as a friend here.”
Then, you can send follow-up questions to start talking to her.
- “So, what’s your favorite way to waste time over the weekend?”
- “I like your healthy skin tone. Are you into any sports?”
- “How’s life? Working on anything exciting lately?”
You want to learn what the girl is into or interested in. You want to continue the conversation from there.
Conversation Example:
You: Hi, I’m John. I saw your profile recommendation on the Facebook wall. You seem interesting, so I thought of adding you as a friend here.”
You: I would love to know more about you. So, what’s your favorite way to waste time? Just kidding. What is your passion?
Girl: Hahaha. Nice to know you. Well, I like to practice Yoga. What about you?
You: Oh, Yoga. No wonder you have good body posture. I like working out and playing badminton with my friends:) I have never tried Yoga before. Maybe you can teach me some beginner posture next time. I think it is going to be fun.
Girl: Hahaha, Sure, I can teach you some basic ones.
You: Great. Well, I got to go. Nice talking to you. I will catch up with you again next time.
Scenario B: If You Know Her Already
Things will be much easier if you know her and want to start talking to her on Facebook.
You can directly say hi and open up a conversation right away.
There are a few things you can talk about after saying hi. For example, you can talk about a common interest, a shared memory, or the last time you met.
Many guys make the mistake of just saying hi, which is devastating because it makes the conversation dry and awkward.
What do you expect her to answer if you say “hi” or “how are you?” She will probably say “hi” back to you or “Fine. Thanks”, then the conversation will go back to ground zero.
Conversation as such are very dull and leads nowhere. Thus, it would help if you never forgot to open up a topic right after you say hi to her. This will invite her to share more information with you.
Conversation Example:
You: Hi, I know it’s random. How are you? Working on anything exciting lately?
Girl: Hi, I’m fine. Thanks. Well, I’m planning my holiday trip to Tokyo. I’m super excited about it.
You: I never knew you were into Japan. What makes you choose Japan out of so many countries?
Girl: Japanese culture seems interesting. So, I thought, why not see it with my own eyes?
You: I have never been to Japan before. Be sure to share your traveling stories with me when you get back!
Girl: Sure, hahaha
You: When will you be back from Japan then?
Girl: I will be there for seven days. So, I will be back on the last day of Feb.
You: Ok. I’ll catch up with you again after your trip. Enjoy your holidays in Japan~ =)
Girl: Thanks hehe =)
As you can see in the conversation above, after I greet her, I immediately ask her if she has been working on anything exciting lately. Whatever she answered me would be a great topic to discuss because she is interested and excited about the topic.
When the girl is interested in the topic, she will tend to speak more about it and be more open to discussing it. This way, you will be able to learn more about her and have an enjoyable conversation.
Good Topics To Start Talking To A Girl On Facebook
If you are not sure what to talk about on Facebook, here is your best bet. These are the 3 easiest topic you can talk about to initiate a conversation without being awkward.
1) Compliment
If the girl has achieved something impressive or has done something that caught your eye, then you can try to give her a genuine compliment.
A genuine compliment means you praise her because you think she is impressive, not because you want something (her phone number, make her like you more) in return.
It’s best to compliment her on her outfit, new hairstyle, smile, personality, achievement, and effort.
Avoid complimenting her boobs and butt. The reason is apparent, but I still have to put this down because many guys lack common sense.
2) Common Interests or Topic
Talk about it if you have a common interest, for example, badminton, guitar, or anime.
Besides that, you can discuss a common topic between you. For example, you can talk about the same project or assignment that both of you are working on or the same school or college you all went to.
Last but not least, you can talk about mutual friends, colleagues, teachers who have taught both of you, or the singer and author who both of you love.
When you talk about people, be sure to talk about their positive sides. You do not want to backstab anyone just for the sake of talking to the girl you like. You won’t go far by doing so.
3) Answer Her Questions
If you see she posted a question on Facebook and think you have a good answer, you can discuss it with her.
For example, if she asks if iPhone is better or Huawei because she wants to get a new phone, you can PM her and share your opinion if you have the answer.
Things You Must Know When You Talk To a Girl On Facebook
Talking to a girl on Facebook is very different than texting and you want to switch to a private conversation as soon as possible, be it offline or online.
With that being said, you want to get their phone number and meet them offline whenever you have the chance because more rapport or intimacy is build when you have physical interaction.
1) Switch to private messaging
You can comment on her post occasionally. However, if possible, you would want to switch to the private message as soon as possible.
This is because you can develop an actual conversation with her by using private messages. Both of you can share honest thoughts and feelings without the interference of a third party.
2) Use the latest post to create a topic
Girls tend to post a lot of photos or videos on Facebook. However, you do not want to start a conversation about her old posts because it means that you have checked out all her photos, including the old ones.
You do not want to be considered a stalker, do you? So, always start a conversation about her latest profile picture or latest posts.
You can ask about the picture’s background, what she is holding or doing in the picture, etc. For example, you can ask, “It looks fun! Where were you in that picture?” and then expand the conversation based on what she replies.
3) Do not drag the conversation
It would help if you took the initiative to end the conversation when it started to fade to leave a good impression on her. So, next time you talk to her again, she will be willing to reply to you.
Suppose you drag the conversation and make it so dull that she has to force end it. Then, you will be labeled as the “boring guy.” She will cut down or delay her reply in the future to subtly force you to stop talking to her. It is hard to reverse this situation, so avoid it while you can.
If you are talking to her for the first time, expect the conversation to be short, and you can build up the relationship slowly in the future. There’s no need to rush.
How To Ask The Girl On Facebook Out
Only do this if you have talked to her and she seems attracted to you.
To ask her out, you can say, “You seem fun. Maybe we can grab a drink together this Sat?“
Alternatively, you can ask,” Do you have any exciting plans on Sat? Wanna go for an adventure with me?“
Most of the time, they do not have anything special planned. So, you can trigger their curiosity and excitement by using the conversation starter above. They will surely reply and ask you what you both will be doing.
Then, you can suggest an exciting plan, for example, explore a new themed cafe, catch a new movie, go ice skating, visit the VR studio, etc. You can choose any activity you want but make sure it is fun and not too extreme, like the paintball war game.
If you want to sound casual, you can use another conversation starter, one of my favorites. You can say, ” I will finish my work near your area this Sat. Wanna join me for brunch at around 11 am?“
This sentence is designed to imply that you asked her out just because you happened to be near her place, not because you intended to date her.
This will put a lot of pressure on the girl, and they will mostly say yes. Trust me. I have used this a lot of times, and it works wonders. It would help if you tried it yourself.
The Bottom Line Of How To Talk To A Girl On Facebook
Remember, a conversation’s goal is to determine if the girl is compatible with you.
If she does not reply or resonate well with you, then there’s no point in forcing another conversation with her. You should just let go and find another girl who can click better with you.
If you adopt this right mentality, you will be more confident when you talk to her, naturally making you more attractive.