Welcome to my guide on how to flirt with your crush.
In this guide, you will learn 2 essential things.
No.1 You will learn the proper flirting stages, so you won’t jump ahead, overdo it and make the situation awkward.
No.2 You will learn the subtle ways to flirt with your crush, so you can flirt without being too obvious.
Without further ado, let’s start with the most important part first, which is the proper flirting stages.
Proper Flirting Stages
A lot of guides only teach you how to flirt, but they forgot to teach you the different stages of flirting.
You must know where you are right now before you flirt with your crush.
For example, it is ok to flirt and create sexual tension. However, if you do it at the wrong stage, you will either get a slap or be ignored by her next time.
So, knowing where you are standing first before you start the game is vital. This way, you can flirt with lower risk.
There are 4 stages of flirting that you need to know.
4 Stages of Flirting
The First Stage of Flirting: Personal Attraction
In the first stage, you and the crush are just friends. The goal at this stage is to get closer and to chat like a standard friend can do. Focus on building personal attraction and make her feel that you are an interesting person.
The only activity at this stage is to exchange exciting life stories with each other and create resonance on the emotional level. Make her click with you and enjoy talking to you.
The Second Stage of Flirting: Flirting With Words
At this stage, you both should already become good friends who can talk about everything now. Then, it is time for you to level up the relationship to make it more than just a friend.
You need to start letting her know that you are interested in her and see if she has the same feeling as you do. A lot of people are making the mistake of confessing at this stage, but it is too risky. You want to avoid confession at all costs until you know she is interested in you as well. And, to know if she is interested in you, you can start flirting with words.
When you start flirting with words and she accepts it, it means she allows you to cross the borderline to be more than just an ordinary friend. In other words, she is ok to level up the relationship. By accepting your flirt, I mean she does not back off and enjoys continuing the conversation with you.
The goal at this level is to have the conversation as usual and then flirt with your crush occasionally.
If she flirts with you back, then it is a perfect sign she is into you as well.
The Third Stage Of Flirting: Flirt With Body Language
At this stage, she should be comfortable being more than just a friend with you. You both can flirt with each other through words occasionally, and she seems to enjoy it.
When you are at this level, you can start to flirt with your body language.
- Sit closer to her,
- Play with her hair
- Pat her head
- Help her to adjust her clothes or hair when it is messy
- Hold her hand on some occasions like crossing a busy road or walking through a crowded place.
- Walk close to her until your shoulders slighting touching her shoulder
- While talking with her, you can tilt your head closer to her and speak softly to her.
On the other hand, you can open up a conversation about hand or hair and create an opportunity for physical touch. For example, you can say have you tried a shorter hairstyle before? I wonder what you would look like with shorter hair? I think you gonna look cute in short hair too. Then, you can touch her hair and adjust it, so you can see how she will look if she has shorter hair.
Or you can talk about the hand. Tell her that her hand is so small. Then, put your hand forward to compare the size of your hand with hers.
Flirting with body language is very powerful. However, you want to use it at the right stage, or it will backfire.
The Fourth Stage Of Flirting: Enter Sexual Relationship
At this stage, both of you are already interested in each other and are comfortable having a physical touch. It is up to you if you want to enter a sexual relationship.
Well, if you haven’t got the kiss yet, here is how you can do it.
First, have a conversation normally like you always do and sit closer to her. Then, you want to look at her lips occasionally when you talk. Just look at her lips for a split second, so she will pick up the signal you want to kiss her.
Continue to talk for a while, and then pretend like her hair is messy, and you want to help her to arrange it. You can gently push her hair over her hair, and then slowly move your hand to her chin and bring her head closer to you. It would help if you moved forward simultaneously when you lead her to come closer to you. Then, you can kiss very naturally.
Make sure you both are in a private space before you kiss her. I would recommend you do it at your place. This way, you can prepare for the date. For example, decorate the room to make it romantic, have soothing music playing in the background, and have the bed ready if you need it. You know what I mean.
How far you want to go after the first kiss is up to both of you.
Subtle Ways To Flirt With Your Crush
1) Tease her with snacks or drinks
Ask her if she wants the snacks or drinks that you brought. Hand it to her, but when she is about to grab it, pull it away and don’t let her get it. Tease her a few times, then open the snacks or drinks and give them to her.
2) Pretend deaf
When she talks to you, you pretend you didn’t hear it and ask her “what.” After she repeats her words and you say “what” again. Repeat this until she knows you are teasing her.
She probably pretends to be angry at this time. Then, you can pull her hand and say sorry and promise you will buy her ice cream. Now you can hang out with her and enjoy ice cream together.
3) Give her candy as medicine
When she is not feeling well, you can give her some candies but disguise them as medicine. You can also write her a note and tell her that your medicine tastes better than the clinic one and wish her a fast recovery. She will laugh when she sees it is candy instead of medicine.
4) Move closer to her when she talks
When she says something, you can pretend you didn’t catch what she said. Then you lean into her a little bit and try to capture what she has to say again. This closes up the gap between you two.
5) Tell her dirty jokes
Tell her that you learned some dirty jokes from your friend yesterday. Ask her if she wants to listen to it. Then, you can share it with her.
6) Give her indirect praise
You can praise her that her dress suits her a lot, the new hairstyle looks great, etc. But don’t overdo it.
7) Put your phone away
You want to let her know that she has your full attention when both of you are together. So, put your phone away or have the screen facing down to show that you are fully present.
8) Push her with your shoulder
When you both are walking side by side, use your shoulder to push her a little. If she is playful, she will use her shoulder to push you back.
9) Feed her something
Ask her if she wants candy or anything. If she wants it, then hold the candy in front of her and say “aaa” to make her open her mouth. When she opens her mouth, you can put the candy inside and then pet her like you are petting a dog. While you are doing that, you can say “good girl.”
10) Take an Ugly Picture Of Her
Take a picture of her when she is sleeping or when she is unaware. Then, pick the ugliest one and send it to her. Tell her you will send it to everyone she knows if she does not buy you an ice cream.
11) Workout together
While workout, ask her to help you with stretching. Then, after the workout, you can say you feel pain in the neck or shoulder and ask her to help you to massage it. After she finished massaging, you can say “good girl”.
12) Dance around with her
Play your favorite music or any Disney music and then make her dance with you.
13) Give her a unique nickname
Think of a cute nickname for her, not an offensive one though. Whenever you see her, you call her by her nickname. Change her name in your phone to the nickname too.
She might give you a nickname in return. This way, you all will be calling each other a unique name that only both of you will know.
How To Flirt With Your Crush Through Text
Here are some of the texts you can send to your crush to flirt with her.
Most of these are original ideas, so she probably didn’t see them before.
- I know. (Wait for her to say “know what?”, and then reply to her) I know you miss me, so I texted you
- I can’t breathe. (wait for her to say “what happen?”, and then reply to her) coz I miss you.
- I feel so bored. I wish you were here with me right now.
- Are you tired today? (wait for her to say “no, why? then reply to her) you were running in my dream last night.
- When I’m sad, I think of you. (Then, send her the ugly picture of her that you took when she was unaware)
- Hey, I’m Microsft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
- I’m available this Saturday. You can date me if you want.
- I can’t focus on my work today because of you. (wait for her to ask “why?”, then reply) coz you keep occupying my mind.
- I’m still single, in case you were wondering.
- My dog wanted you to know that he misses you. My grandma too.
- Do you have any plans for this Sat? Because I don’t.
- I’m so bored. I need you to rescue me.
- Congratulations. You just won yourself an opportunity to have a romantic dinner with me this Sat. Press reply ‘yes’ to claim it now.
- Good night. Don’t dream about me tonight.
- I think I like you a lot. When I close my eyes, I just can’t stop thinking of you. Can you borrow me $200?
- I think the fortune teller is right. One day, you will become my grandson’s grandma.
- Can you give it back to me? (Wait for her to ask “what”, then reply) My heart.
- What should I do? I keep looking at the phone for your message. I don’t want to miss any of them.
- My friend thinks I’m crazy because I grin like an idiot while looking at the phone.
- I will dream about you if you dream about me tonight. Deal?
- I’ve been thinking about you a lot today… and it’s only 7 am.
What To Do If Your Crush Rejects The Flirt
Make sure you have read the 4 stages of flirting above.
Remember these 4 stages of flirting are like a staircase. You have to start from being a friend to more than a friend, and then from flirting with words to flirting with body language. If you jump the staircase, most likely you will get backfire.
Whenever you took the wrong move, or she rejects you, you should not worry too much. The only thing you need to do is to move back to the previous stage and work on that level more first.
For example, she accepts it when you flirt with her by words (2nd stage), but she rejects it when you try to flirt with body language (3rd stage), then you just need to move back to the 2nd stage and continue to work on it first. When she rejects it, it means that she is not ready for it and you should never force it.
With this model, you can always know where you are right now, and you can know which level you should go to next. It gives you a sense of clarity.
A lot of guys fail because they do not know this, and they advance too fast. This shocks the girl and makes her quickly back off and build up a strong resistance. Once the resistance is up, it is tough to lower it again. It will cost you much more time and effort for the level of advancement.
If you have a lot of experience with a girl and you are good at reading facial expressions and emotions, then you do not need to memorize this model by hand. You can just go with the flow. Otherwise, you might want to revisit this model often.
The Bottom Line
When you flirt, you need to know which stage you are at, so you can do it properly. Follow the 4 stages of flirting I mentioned like you walk up a staircase. In the event, that she rejects you, you just need to go back to the previous stage and put more work into it. Wait for the right timing, you can then try to proceed further to the next stage again.