Hi guys, welcome to my guide on how to ask a girl out without being needy.
After reading this guide, you will know how to ask a girl out at work or at college. In addition to that, you will learn how to ask a girl out directly and indirectly in other scenarios.
Be sure to keep reading till the end because I have also included my favorite method to ask a girl out in the last section. It works like a charm for me most of the time. I’m sure it will work wonder for you too.
This is going to help you to date the girl you like in no time.
How To Ask A Girl Out Without Being Too Needy
There are a few ways to ask a girl out.
If you do not want to sound too needy, you should start with the everyday activities you are involved in.
In the following section, you will learn how to ask a girl out naturally at work or college. I have included examples and a script for you to apply in real life.
How To Ask A Girl Out At Work
If you both work together, you can use work as a reason to ask her out for a short meet-up.
You can say you want to discuss the project you both are working on or want to have her opinion on the task you are handling.
The first meet-up should be a straightforward one. Maybe just grab a cup of coffee, and have a small talk about the things you want to discuss, then you can divert the topic to something casual.
Some of the casual topics would be hobbies, passion, and how you spend your leisure time. The goal is you want to learn a little bit about her but not to overdo it as if you were interrogating her.
The first meet-up goal is just to warm up the relationship a little bit, so you both can go from a stranger or just colleagues to closer friends. This allows you to chat about things outside of work next time.
Then, when the project which you asked for her opinion on earlier is completed, you can offer to buy her lunch or dinner as an appreciation. Or say you are finally done with the project, let’s go out, have a good meal and relax over the weekend.
The following lunch or dinner date should be a casual dating experience, and you should remove yourself from the topic regarding work. You can then enjoy the first date with her as a friend.
How To Ask A Girl Out At College
It is basically the same as asking a girl out at work. You just need to use different everyday activities as a reason to date her out.
To make it looks very natural, I would suggest you join the same organization, community, or club as she does. When you are in the same environment, it is easy and natural for you to know her and interact with her.
This way, you both would probably work on some college projects or activities together. It is an excellent opportunity to have fun and have a great time together with her in college.
Then, when you know her a little better, you can use the project on hand, homework, or club activities as a reason to ask her out for a short meet-up. You can say you need her opinion on something.
For the first meet-up, if possible, try to arrange it on the weekend and outside of college. For example, on Saturday, you can text her and ask her if she has time tomorrow. You want her opinion on the project or activities you are working on. Of course, choose the project or activities that you both are involved in.
The first meet-up outside the college should not be more than 40 minutes. It should be just grabbing a drink or something. The first half of the conversation should be on the project you want to discuss with her. Then, for the next half of the conversation, you should divert it to casual conversation.
Below is how you divert the conversation.
I join this club because I wanted to learn how to draw, act, or make some new friends. Just give a reason. And then ask, I’m curious, what about you?
From there, you expand the conversation into other topics non-related to college.
Do not drag the conversation too long for the first meet up. You should take the initiative to end the conversation.
And at the end of the conversation, if the atmosphere is good, you can say, “I don’t know, you seem like a fun person, maybe we should grab a drink or hang out sometimes.” Do not set the date or time, so she will probably say yes.
Then, after a while, maybe a week or two, you can invite her out. You can use any reason as long as it sounds believable. Say something like, hey, I want to try out the new cafe in town city. They say the food is good. Wanna explore it with me this Sat?
Then, you can arrange a brunch on the weekend. The invitation should be casual. Make it sounds like it is a simple meet-up and it is not a date. So, she won’t feel the pressure.
When you both get closer after a few hang outs, you can then ask her out directly for a dinner date, a movie date, or a food trip.
That’s how you move from a simple meet up to hang out and then to dating.
How To Have an Interesting Conversation With The Girl You Date
If you do not know how to make the conversation interesting, you can check out my previous work on:
- How to make an interesting conversation
- How to expand conversation easily
- How to use cold reading in dating to have her open up and tell you more about herself
The Foundation Of Asking A Girl Out Naturally
No matter how much you like her or if it is love at first sight, you should progress slowly.
If she barely knows you, and you go right at her and ask if she wants to go on a dinner date with you, then chances are she is going to reject you unless she already likes you.
You can’t blame her for this for the following reasons:
- She does not know how the date will turn out. You could be boring as fuck.
- She does not know if she is safe with you.
- She does not know you and might need to deal with the awkwardness.
So, in general, you want to start with something small and low-risk for her first. Let her feel comfortable being with you and having some fun together.
After the trust level and relationship improves, you can ask for a heavier date that requires more energy and time.
If you follow this flow, you won’t be seen as needy, and the process will be very natural.
Avoid The Biggest Mistake When Asking A Girl Out
When some guys get rejected, they start to take on the victim role. They try to make the girl feel bad for rejecting them and hope the girl will eventually say yes.
However, even if it works, the girl won’t enjoy the date because she was forced to do it. The dating experience is going to be worse. And, I guarantee you, the girl will not come out for a second date.
This is why forcing a girl to come out for a date with you is the biggest mistake a guy can make when asking for a date. It also makes you look like a very cheap and needy person. No girls like this kind of man.
So, if the girl rejects you, do not take it personally and be cool about it.
Spend more time building personal attraction. For example, start working out, learn more about men’s fashion, pick up a passion, try out a new hairstyle, and take care of your appearance.
Help yourself to become a more confident and charismatic person. Then, you can invite her out again in a casual way next time. No need to rush the process.
The Indirect Way Of Asking A Girl Out
I call this method “planting the seed.”
Whenever you talk to her, you can explore what her interest is. Is it swimming, playing the piano, drawing, or etc.?
Then, if it is a common interest, you can invite her to do it together. For example, if you both like to swim, you can suggest swimming together and then going for a meal at the weekend.
If it is not a common interest, but you wish to explore more about it, you can suggest that she can teach you the basics. For example, if you do not know how to draw but you are interested in learning how, then you can ask her to teach you the basics.
It goes the same for movies, travel, and other activities. Once you know what she likes or is interested in, you can suggest doing it together next time.
For example, if she said she enjoys movies, you can indicate that maybe you both can catch a movie together next time when there’s a good movie. Do not set the time and date just yet. Just plant the seed there. Wait until there’s a good movie, and then you can ask her if she wants to watch it together.
This indirect approach makes the asking process very natural and does not expose your neediness.
The Direct Way Of Asking A Girl Out
You can ask a girl out directly if you have to fulfill two conditions.
No.1: The last conversation was fun for both of you.
No.2: The last conversation was not more than two weeks ago.
If the condition above is met, you can just call her up and say, “The last meet-up was awesome. Are you free this weekend? Do you want to grab a drink together or something?”
Yes, if the previous experience was good, you can invite her directly.
She will probably say yes because it was fun in the previous meet-up, and she will expect the following date to be fun as well.
My Favorite Way Of Asking A Girl Out
Personally, I like to use the “I’m nearby” approach.
- I will be near your place this Wednesday, do you wanna have lunch together?
- Or, I will be finishing my project nearby your place this Friday. Do you want to have a drink and chill together?
- I will be attending an event nearby your place this Saturday. It should finish at around 6 pm. Do you wanna take dinner together?
Of course, in the previous conversation, I would have asked her where she worked or where she lived. There’s no need to ask for the exact address. Just the area would be sufficient.
You do not want to ask for the exact location because it can be quite sensitive for her as she barely knows you. So, again, let me remind you that you just need to know the area where she works or lives unless she tells you directly on her own.
Once you get the area information, you can switch to another interesting topic. This is to keep the conversation fun and not like an investigation.
At the end of the first conversation, you can say, “I think you are a fun person. If I happen to be at your place next time, let’s grab a drink together.”
Most of the time, the girl will say yes because you are not asking for a date on the spot. They feel no pressure at all.
Then, when you are free, you can ask her out by using one of the examples I gave you just now, “I will meet a friend at your place this Saturday. I should be free after 6 pm. Do you want to have dinner together?”.
That’s it. It is very simple to apply. I have used this multiple times, and I know it works. Try it out yourself.
The Bottom Line
If you just know the girl, you might want to use the indirect approach to ask the girl out. Warm up the relationship first before asking for a proper date would make the process look more natural. On the other hand, if you are more confident, you can also ask her out directly for a simple date like grabbing a brunch near her place.